Pazaak: Juma Rules
by qt3.14159
Summary: KOTOR 2. LSF Exile. The crew of the Ebon Hawk pass time during a hyperspace jump with a game of pazaak. Epilogue Added. Complete!
1. Juma Rules

A/N: I obviously don't own any of these characters, nor the premise. They are all the property Lucas Arts or those other kotor fan writers I subconsciously stole ideas from.

I hadn't planned on writing any fan fic, but after reading most everything I could here, these scenes just fell out of my head and onto my computer screen. I do not claim to be a writer and this was written purely for my own amusement. I apologize in advance for any long term damage I may inflict. Warning! The following scenes are purely character fluff. Anything resembling a plot is purely coincidental.

* * *

Vashti smiled to herself as she felt the _Hawk_ jump to hyperspace. They had just left Dxun and everyone was in high spirits. They had successfully averted a civil war and destroyedanother foothold of the Sith. They knew that the fight wasn't over yet, Sion and Visas' master were both still out there, but Vash had found Kavar. He was the last of the Jedi masters she had been searching for. He had also long been her favorite of the masters, especially of those on the council. 

The memories of her time on Coruscant had flooded back to her while talking to him. She hadn't known master Zez-Kai-Ell personally as a padawan, and of course Vrook didn't generally inspire nostalgia in anyone, unless they were a masochist. But she and Kavar had been close. She'd had a slight crush on him when she was just a padawan (as did many of her classmates), but it faded over time as the peace of the Jedi code worked its way into her being. After her promotion to knight the two had often found themselves in each other's company and had become good friends.

The memories of happier, less complicated times gave her hope that all the tribulations of the last 15 years would be over soon.

* * *

The Mandalorian wars had begun when she was still quite young, the first attacks occurred when she was just 20. She had just been promoted to knight and assumed they would go help the outlying regions that were being attacked. But they didn't go. Over the next two years she saw the order being slowly torn apart as many questioned the decision of the council not to intervene. She watched the Holonet each night and her peace had shattered a little more with each report of the current civilian death count, which worlds had been razed or which Republic ships wouldn't being coming home. 

At the age of 22 she had followed Revan to war with very few misgivings.By the time they left, very little had remained of the Jedi peace she once had. The deaths were too many. Through her connection to the force she could feel the life being snuffed out and with each flicker of the light her willingness to submit to the will of the council grew weaker.

When Revan left to fight, Vash's conscience told her where she belonged. Revan was inspiring. She was a great fighter, but she was more than just a powerful Jedi. She was a leader. She was a student of history. She was brilliant. Few who had felt the call to protect the falling worlds could stay behind once she began talking.

Vash, like many of the Jedi who had joined the war, had been given the honorary title of General and was placed with a small fleet of ships and a smaller contingency of Jedi. She was to be the tactical advisor to the Admiral in command of the small fleet. Which meant that she worked with Revan to help plan and coordinate their attacks.

As they fought the war, she realized that the deaths she had felt through the force were not just the deaths of the innocents or the Republic soldiers, but were also those of the Mandalorians they were fighting. Each death hardened her more.

She had learned to shut off her emotions through peace at the academy, but now she shut off her emotions by disconnecting herself from everything around her. She still relied heavily upon the force to guide her, but she could no longer bring herself to meditate. When they weren't fighting she had tried hiding herself away and losing herself in work. She poured through information about each battle, looking for weaknesses to exploit, looking for places to shore up their defenses. But when the battle plans could no longer distract her she would attempt to lose herself in the crowd.

The soldiers were great for this. They always had a spare cup of juma for her and they had given her a pazaak deck of her own. She managed to escape her torments while she spent time playing and drinking with these men and women. She could feel under the surface that they were all there for the same reason she was. When you had faced the things they had, you had to find a way to laugh. Laughter made them all forget the pain for a little while.

But then there was Malachor V.

Malachor V had broken Vashti. She stood on the bridge of her ship watching the battle rage below. They had lost communication with Revan at some point during the fight, but the battle plan had been clear. If they could not win, Vashti was to give the command to set off the mass shadow generator. They didn't know the full extent of what the strange machine would do once activated, but Vash knew that by activating it they could win this battle and if they won here they would win the war.

She reached out with the force and felt the battle below her. She felt the minds of her own troops faltering. She felt the fear mingled with exhaustion. She felt the death. She reached out to feel the minds of the Mandalorians and the emotions were different. Pride, Joy and frequent adrenaline surges overwhelmed her. She knew the Republic would not last much longer. If they fell here, they would not be able to stop the Mandalorians. She closed her eyes briefly, shaking off the reluctance she felt. When she opened her eyes, she made eye contact with Bao-Dur, the tech who had built the machine, for a moment and nodded.

The next thing she knew she was falling. Everyone was falling. The bridge crew fought to return to their posts as the captain yelled for full power to the engines. They were falling toward the planet and they had to try to get away. Vashti watched in horror as ships lower in orbit failed to escape the quadrupled gravitational pull of the planet. Republic and Mandalorian ships alike plummeted to the planet below, crushing those who were inside. Landslides killed most of those still on the planet itself. Vashti reached out with the force on instinct, trying in vain to save those she could. She fell to her knees when she felt them. She felt the Republic soldiers and pilots, the Mandalorian warriors but worst of all the Jedi. Their minds reached out to her and she could not shut them out. She felt them die. She felt the fear, the pain … the regret. The emotions poured over her. She tried to hold on, to comfort them all as they died. But the fear began to overwhelm her. She had to escape. She could not. They invaded her mind now, she tried to push them away, but each cry echoed in her head. As her ship reached a safe distance, the world went black around her.

When she awoke in the medbay the silence in her head comforted her. She thanked the force that the pain had stopped. She was told that the war was now over. The Mandalorians had surrendered after the defeat of their Mandalore by Revan and the subsequent destruction of most of their troops. She was a hero. She had saved millions. The Jedi that followed Revan were claimed as heroes. But the heaviness in her heart had not been abated. Knowing that she had probably saved lives in the long run did little for the guilt that overwhelmed her. She needed redemption. She needed the council's forgiveness.

She went to see the Jedi Council on Coruscant as soon as her ship made orbit. Only they could absolve her now. When she entered the council chambers she only wanted them to hear her, to request sanctuary within the temple. But the Jedi who faced her did not want to hear. Vrook set the tone and began to tear into her for following Revan to war. She had meant to ask for forgiveness, but instead she began to defend herself and Revan and all those who went to fight. They would not listen to her. Anger began to surge as they continued to argue with her. She couldn't believe what they were doing. She was to be exiled, a Jedi no more. As her anger increased, she reached out to the force to try to subdue the emotions welling up inside her. She hadn't touched the force since Malachor, she had been afraid that the cries would still be there, and now as she stood before the council she realized that she could not feel the force at all. She glared at each of the council members trying to discern if they had done this to her. Her eyes softened slightly as her gaze lingered on Kavar. She could see the reluctance and sorrow in his face, but there was a firm resolution there as well. She knew then that she did not belong here. She didn't know where she belonged, but it certainly wasn't with these former friends who now condemned her.

They asked for her lightsaber. These arrogant cowards wanted to take her last remaining bit of connection with the Jedi. Her rage overwhelmed her. She clenched her jaw to try to retain some control of her emotions and thrust her lightsaber into the pillar at the center of the room. She turned and walked out. She found herself buying a small ship with the credits the Republic had paid her for her service. She loaded the ship with some supplies and began to fly. She had to get away; away from the council, away from the Republic, away from the pain.

* * *

That had been 10 years ago. The ten years she spent without the force were a blur to her now. It was like she had been in a dream. In some ways she had been much more aware of things around her, but everything seemed fuzzy around the edges. She isolated herself from others. She tried many times to reach out to the force again, to meditate, to feel something more than she did. But the force was gone. She grew used to living without it. She worked hard to overcome her loss. She had to relearn all her skills. Everything was different without it. But she had learned. 

She began to feel it again when Kreia woke her on Peragus. At first it scared her. She wanted nothing to do with anything Jedi. But as her connection to the force began to grow again, she began to regain the peace of her youth. She had missed this feeling of connectedness. Each of the companions that now traveled with her had added to her strength and that peace.

They gathered in the common area of the _Hawk_ now each looking for a way to pass the time on the long hyperspace jump to Dantooine. The success of the missions on Dxun and Onderon left them all overflowing with positive energy. They had their differences still, but at the moment they felt cohesive. They were a team. They sought each other out now. Only Kreia remained in her quarters.

Visas and Canderous were sparring with force pikes on one side of the room while Mical and HK-47 refereed. Mira and Atton were playing pazaak at the table in the center of the room. Bao-Dur watched them play as he tinkered with some parts. He would grin occasionally as he noticed each of them trying to skift a card or two into their side deck.

Vashti looked around the room at her companions and smiled again. She had never been as content as she was here. She ambled over to the pazaak game, peering over Atton's shoulder. "They're practicing their skifting again, eh?" she commented to Bao-Dur. Mira and Atton both groaned and threw down their cards as Bao-Dur grinned and nodded.

"They've both been too preoccupied by their own cheating to notice each other's, General"

Vashti grinned "I would say you two should be ashamed of yourselves for cheating, but since you guys hardly need practice doing anything else pazaak related, it's probably a good use of your time."

Atton cocked his head back and looked up at Vashti pretending to be annoyed with her. But the twinkle of her blue eyes and the genuineness of her grin were contagious. He grinned back at her, his gaze turning a bit lecherous, he patted the seat next to him. "Come join us, we'll play 3 handed."

"Why stop at three?" Mira asked. "Anyone else want to play? First one to win 10 games wins."

Canderous and Visas stopped sparring, panting from the exertion.

"Make Canderous play with you," Visas said between breaths, smiling. "He's worn me out."

Canderous chuckled to himself, and gave Visas an approving nod. "You fight well, Jedi. Anytime you want a rematch, let me know." He nodded at the group at the table as he ambled off to the dorm, "I'll play, just let me go get my deck."

"You should join us too, Visas," Mira chirped.

Visas chuckled, "While my force sight allows me to see much, playing cards is a little beyond my abilities."

Mira stammered a moment, "oh yeah, right… um, sorry… I forgot."

"Really Visas," Vashti said, "We want you to join us. I'll have HK transmit the card information onto your datapad so you can play."

"Objection: Master, I would rather not play interpreter for the sightless meatbag. It is a misuse of my many skills," HK complained.

"Can it, HK." Vashti said with a grin, "If you haven't noticed, we're in hyperspace and there aren't any meatbags for you to blast, but if you stick around and help out, I might let you use your shock arm on Atton if he tries to skift us."

"Hey!" Atton objected as HK replied, "Hopeful Exclamation: Very well master, I will assist, but please remember that my shock arm is at your disposal, just give the word and I will gladly deliver a jolt to whomever you deem worthy."

Vashti sat beside Atton and chuckled patting him on the knee lightly, "don't worry, babe, as long as you don't cheat you don't have anything to worry about, right?"

Atton growled but couldn't help grin as he felt her hand on his knee. The assassin droid had it in for him, but he was pretty sure Vash wouldn't sic HK on him, even if he did cheat. He hoped.

"Deal me in," Bao-Dur said as he found a seat at the table next to Mira, "I'm not much of a player, but I don't expect to win anyhow." Visas sat down at the table on the other side ofBao and HK stood behind her, linking up to her datapad.

"Mical, get your butt over here. You're playing too," Vashti ordered.

"I, uh," Mical stammered for a moment then relented, "OK, it's Republic Senate rules, right? So I won't lose anything when I lose? In that case, I would be thrilled to join in on the fun." Mical took a seat between Mira and Vashti and Atton glared at him briefly. Vashti smacked Atton on the shoulder and said, "Stop that, play nice or I'm going to send you to your room."

Atton's glare faded and was replaced once again by the lecherous grin, "you can take me to my room anytime you want to, you know that." Vashti smacked his shoulder again playfully, "I said SEND not TAKE!" she giggled.

Bao-Dur and Mical exchanged amused glances at the two as Canderous came back in the room with his pazaak deck and a large container of juma juice. Atton immediately perked up.

Canderous grinned and said, "I thought we could make this a little more interesting and play with Juma Rules. Beginning of every set, everyone takes a drink. The winner of each set, or each winner if anyone ties takes a drink."

"Atton, deal everyone a card," he instructed. "Every time anyone is dealt a card with the same number as the card you've just been dealt, you take a drink. Any questions?"

Mical blanched a little as everyone else's grins grew larger. "Well, at least I don't think I'll have to worry about winning." Mical said mostly to himself.

Mira cackled a little too gleefully, "oh, this is going to be fun… Atton! Mical's got a 6! Make sure you deal a few extra, I soooo want to see him drunk."

Atton eyed HK warily and nodded.


	2. Nar Shaddaa Rules

Canderous filled glasses for everyone and took a seat beside Visas. He raised his glass and said, "Set one, everyone take a drink." Everyone raised their glasses and took a drink, though some drank considerably more than others. Canderous eyed Mical across the table, "did you even get any, boy? Come on, you can do better than that!" While they watched, Mical closed his eyes and took a fast gulp of juma. He opened his eyes again and smiled, "The second drink didn't burn as much as the first." He stated. Mira snickered as Atton began to deal.

The first few rounds went quite nicely, as the juma began to take effect and loosen everyone up. Vashti shot Atton a look as he dealt another 10, her assigned drink number.

"What?" Atton said with a smug grin.

"Hrm, I just get the feeling this deck has an extraordinary number of 10s in it." Vashti said grinning as she took her 6th mandatory drink.

"Query: Shall I shock the meatbag for you, Master?" HK asked hopefully.

"No, HK, I'll let you know when, keep that shock arm ready." She grinned. "As you wish, Master." HK said with a disappointed electronic sigh.

Atton moved a little further away from the homicidal droid instinctively and his side pressed against Vashti. She jumped slightly and giggled, but she didn't move away. They were all beginning to feel the juma now.

"General, your pazaak is much better now than it was back in the war," Vashti nodded her agreement with Bao saying "ten years of wandering the galaxy without a real job will do that to a girl." He chuckled quietly to himself and Mira shot him a look. "There's a story behind that chuckle, I can tell. Spill it!" She smacked the zabrak playfully on the shoulder and his chuckle spread to a wide grin. Vashti's eyes widened in horror as Bao glanced up at her, tentatively.

"Don't you dare!" she yelled, a little more loudly than she had meant to. Their eyes all shot to her, and then to Bao. "He's got to tell us now, you made it sound _much _too interesting to pass up," Canderous said with a grin.

The horrified look on Vash's face intensified as the redness crept up her neck, burning her ears. She grabbed her glass and took a long gulp, ignoring Mical as he tried to wrench the glass out of her hands. "You don't get to drink now, no one got a 10, nor have you won a set," Mical said to her with a slightly sadistic smile, "Bao, you were saying?"

Bao-Dur glanced up at Vashti. She closed her eyes, trying to fight off the blush and nodded, the extra juma giving her a bit of courage. Bao chuckled again and started his story.

"Back during the war, the General began coming to the common area of the ship pretty regularly. At first she was just getting a drink while she read through her datapads, but it didn't take long for her to start joining in the activities. A few of the soldiers started teaching her to play pazaak and pooled their extra cards together so she could have her own deck. She played a lot, and lost most of the time. But it never seemed to bother her, well, until…" Vashti sunk lower in her seat and laid her forehead on the table, her ears bright red now. "Until she agreed to play a game with Nar Shaddaa rules." The whole table erupted with laughter.

Her head snapped up. "He tricked me!" she yelled in her defense. "I was a 22 year old Jedi! How the HELL was I supposed to know what Nar Shaddaa rules were?"

Bao chuckled, " but once you lost the first set and he informed you that you were supposed to remove an item of clothing, you didn't quit. If you didn't know, and obviously you didn't, you could have gotten out of it."

"I'd agreed to play! I had to finish the game! They'd have lost respect for me if I didn't!"

Bao grinned again, "Suddenly winning became much more important to her. As a Jedi of course she had quite a few extra pieces of clothing to remove, the outer robe, the inner robe, the belt, each boot, her socks, the tunic, the pants. With each piece of clothing that came off, the crowd watching grew. Of course, she was holding her own against the guy she was playing, what was his name anyhow? I forget."

"Lars," she responded firmly, "I wish I _could_ forget."

"Ah yes, Lars," Bao continued, "Anyhow, Lars was losing pieces of clothing almost as fast as she was, but he had less to lose. As the crowd grew and the game heated up, the General stood up on her chair and began throwing her clothing out into the crowd as she took it off. Of course, the men loved it. She was the most attractive thing any ofus had ever seen. Ah, you should have seen her back then. She looked basically the same as she does now, but there was a freshness about her - a naivety that seemed to accentuate every feature, every curve. She was a magnificent sight." Bao sighed as a nostalgic look crossed his face.

"You seem awfully fond of that memory, Bao" Atton interjected a bit grumpily.

Bao chuckled again, "I was an 18 yr old tech. I hadn't been close to many girls and I definitely hadn't been with a human woman at that point in my life. I, like most of the other men in that room were completely entranced by her. She drank heavily with each round, the juma gave her courage, I think, but it also dulled her ability to play. We couldn't believe our luck, she was losing and best of all, she didn't appear to be trying to get out of it either. The men made a giant ruckus after her tunic came off, and I think she was feeding off their energy. I think the collective wills of all those men bent her to their will.

"She stood there in her leggings with her tunic off. She was wearing what I can only assume are standard issue undergarments for Jedi. They didn't show much, but it didn't matter. Lars was down to just his pants, as well. She lost again, and off came the leggings. She lost again. The cheer that went up from the men in that room was deafening. She was so cute as the determined look came over her face. She climbed up on the table and looked around at all the men in the room. I swear she made eye contact with all of us at once. She began to talk to the us, Ah, I remember her speech like it was yesterday" Vashti sunk even lower in her chair, if that was possible. "She said 'Gentlemen! I am Vashti, a Jedi Knight and your General! I will fulfill this obligation because of the bond of trust I have with each one of you. You know I could walk away now and while you would all be a bit disappointed, I would still have my dignity. However, to prove to you that my dignity is a small price to pay for the trust of my men, I will do this, just as I will fulfill my obligations to fight and possibly die by your side.' With that she pulled the top of her underwear off and flung it into the crowd. The men went wild. The cheering and stamping was deafening. She tried to quiet us down and yelled over the crowd, 'Gentlemen! There's another hand to be played I believe!'

"The place went eerily quiet again as they watched the next hand. She managed to win that one, probably because Lars was too distracted by his now topless opponent. His pants came off and they played another hand. She lost again, and again the place went wild, they were stamping and cheering as she climbed up on the table again. She yelled out, 'For the Republic!' But before she managed to get her underwear off two of the Jedi men on the ship came in to see what all the ruckus was about.

"You should have seen their faces. It was priceless. I don't think either of them had ever seen a woman with that few clothes on, and certainly not a Jedi. They quickly removed their outer robes as they jumped up on the table. One wrapped his robe around her as the other scooped her up over his shoulder and carried her out of the commons."

Vashti's eyes opened finally "I never did get any of those clothes back," she muttered.

The whole group broke out in raucous laughter; everyone looked at her differently for a moment.

"So there is a party girl under there somewhere. I suspected as much," Canderous guffawed at her.

"I was 22! You heard Bao, they were egging me on!"

Atton mused, "I guess that's why you seemed so comfortable in the dancer's outfit when you danced for Vogga. Apparently Vash is a bit of an exhibitionist! Who'd have guessed it?

Mira cackled, "and I thought I was bad."

"Just deal the next hand, so I can take another drink, will you?" Vash said irritably, but a small grin could not help but escape her lips. That had been a liberating day. She had always had confidence in herself, but somehow, getting up there on that table and removing her garments made her realize that she could overcome any fears and do whatever had to be done to get the job done.

"I don't suppose we might be able to get a repeat performance from you?" Atton asked as he dealt the next hand.

"NO!" she yelled, a grin spreading across her face.

Atton grumbled, "I can't believe Bao got to see that. Where was I when this was going on? Not on your ship! No, I got assigned to a ship without a female exhibitionist Jedi goddess. As a matter of fact, the only female Jedi on our ship was pretty scary. I wouldn't have wanted to see her naked. At least, I think it was a she. Might not have been actually, hard to tell with the robes."

Vashti snickered and finally looked up around the table at her companions. Disciple blushed, Mira and Canderous grinned back at her, Visas chuckled quietly, Atton looked at her appraisingly, and Bao smiled at her warmly.

When her gaze reached Bao, her eyes narrowed, "you can just wipe that smile off your face mister, and make sure you get that image out of your head too! We're Jedi for force's sake, you guys should NOT be getting this much enjoyment out the idea of me taking my clothes off!"

"I'm no Jedi," Canderous quipped, "and I can imagine it quite well, though if you'd like to demonstrate that would be much better." Vashti reached across the table and slugged him in the shoulder. "Well, it ain't gonna happen, so you can just get over it!"

"Yeah," Atton agreed, "we'd have to get quite a bit more Juma in her before she'd agree to another game with Nar Shaddaa rules."

Vash's eyes widened once more and she slugged Atton in the shoulder this time. "At least being interrogated by a Jedi in her underwear isn't a personal fantasy of mine!" she taunted Atton. All the eyes at the table refocused on him.

"Oh, another story! Do tell!" Mira chuckled from across the table.


	3. Personal Fantasies and a Jedi Princess

**Personal Fantasies and a Jedi Princess**

This time Atton closed his eyes and sunk down in his seat as Vashti began to talk. "You guys know that I ran into Atton in a force cage on Peragus, right?" The group nodded in agreement. "Well, what you don't know was that since I had been in the kolto tank I didn't have on anything other than my underwear. When I woke up, I managed to find a weapon, and some medpacs, but no clothes! So I'm running around the station in my underwear, and then I found Atton. You should have seen the look on his face when the door opened up. Ah, I'd give just about anything to have a holo of his expression then."

"Hey, I'd been locked in that damned force cage for 2 days straight without any food or water. I wasn't myself. I thought I was hallucinating! Of course, what really threw me off was that if I had been hallucinating, I am pretty sure I'd have come up with some better underwear for my scantily clad rescuer."

Vash thumped him quickly on the shoulder, "This is my story, flyboy. Shush. Anyhow, I started questioning him about what had happened and why he was in the force cage but he stopped me with 'not like being interrogated by a Jedi in her underwear isn't a personal fantasy of mine, but do you think you could let me out of here?' Once I let him out it didn't get any better, he kept staring at my chest while trying to make conversation."

"If I'd had any idea I could have gotten a better look at that chest by challenging you to a game of pazaak with Nar Shaddaa rules, I'd have jumped on it," Atton interjected.

"Jumped on what?" Mical asked grinning, "Vash's chest?"

Mira smacked Mical on the arm, hard. "Ack, I'm getting a bad visual here."

Vash shook her head with a sigh. "Anyhow, when I went down into the mining tunnels I found a miners uniform. I told him I'd found some clothes the next time he commed me and the disappointment in his voice made me consider not wearing it, just to mess with his head. But, since I didn't want to be too distracting 'for the droids', I put it on."

"You do know you're allowed to strip down to your underwear and mess with my... head... _any time_ you want to, right?" Atton said withhisusuallecherous grin.

"Atton!" Vashti smacked his shoulder again as she blushed once more. "Can someone please change the subject? I think I'm going to die now." She grabbed her glass and swigged a few more gulps before Mical could wrench the glass out of her hand again.

Mical grinned a moment and all eyes fell upon him as he spoke rather quietly, "I heard a good story about Canderous once."

"What!" the Mandalorian's eyes snapped up to meet Mical's, "Where would you have heard a story about me, boy?"

"Um, well," Mical replied, "Admiral Onasi and I have worked closely together on a number of projects and he told me some stories about the people he traveled with on the Star Forge mission. And since I now know that you were the Mandalorian he traveled with, I can only assume that he was talking about you."

"What did he tell you, boy?" Canderous almost sneered the question, but as a Mandalorian he loved a good story almost as much as battle, even if he bore the brunt of the joke.

"Well, the story he told me involved a certain 'Jedi Princess' that seemed to have your number."

Canderous groaned. "Bastila," he said. "That woman would drive any man to drink!"

"Well," Mical continued, "Admiral Onasi said that you two were at each other's throats most of the time." Canderous nodded. "But the story he told me occurred on Dantooine. Apparently you all had stopped back there to restock on some supplies and follow up on some tasks for some of the locals, right?" Canderous nodded again, a grin playing across his lips as he remembered that day. "So you were out on the plains, and Bastila made some comment about filthy Mandalorians."

"If you're going to tell the story, it needs to be told right, boy!" Canderous looked around the table at everyone and grinned, "Bastila was a fiery woman. Arrogant, snide, impatient. She always had a rude jab about those she considered to be less than herself.

"We had been trying to find some rumored cave with saber crystals when we ran across a group of Mandalorians that had been terrorizing the settlers on the planet. Of course, those thugs didn't deserve the title Mandalorian, but they wore it anyway. As many who were unworthy did in that time. I was ashamed of those men, and as I tried to control my rage after the battle, Bastila goes spouting off about "filthy Mandalorians". I held my temper for as long as I could, but after a few minutes of this I couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking I picked her up and tossed her over my shoulder, walked to a nearby stream and dropped her in it.

"The shock of the cold water added to the surprise of being tossed about like a rag doll. Her eyes were huge and the blue became especially bright as she glared up at me. 'Mandalorians aren't the only ones who get filthy, princess.' I bellowed at her, 'The stench coming from you is truly overwhelming. I think you need to wash some of the arrogance off your uptight Jedi ass.' The rage in her boiled up and spilled over then. So much for 'there is no emotion', eh?" Canderous chuckled, remembering. "She force pushed me backwards into the stream and screamed at me," here Canderous stood placing his hands on his hips and did a perfect Jedi princess impression "'You filthy Mandalorian mynock! If you _ever _lay another hand on me, I swear you I will make you pay!' With that declaration, she force waved a wall of water at me, drenching the upper half of me that had remained relatively dry in spite of my fall.

"'Is that so, princess?' I snarled back at her. And just how would a spoiled, sanctimonious child like you manage that?' I stood up and pulled my drenched shirt off and calmly walked over to her and wrung it out over her head. She kicked my legs out from under me and I fell again, but I shifted my weight so that I fell mostly on her."

He grinned again, "She shrieked as my weight pressed her back into the water. She began pounding her fists against my chest, howling angrily for me to 'remove myself from her person'. I looked down into those fiery blue eyes of hers and did the one thing I knew would set her off. I kissed her - As deeply and as aggressively as I could. She resisted at first, but once I felt her lips soften I broke the kiss. 'Thanks for the bath, princess' I said as I hoisted myself off her and out of the stream." He chuckled. "I walked past Revan and Carth and told them I'd be in the ship drying off if they needed me. They just nodded back at me as their surprise turned to laughter."

"So what happened between you and Bastila after that?" Atton asked, "Did she ever figure out she had a thing for you?"

"Interjection: I believe I can answer that question. Why meatbags insist on pressing their mucus covered flesh against each other, I do not know. But I will never understand how two otherwise functional meatbags will forget about the security cameras once the mating rituals begin." HK shuddered at the memory, "My photo receptors have not been the same since."

"You didn't have to watch," Canderous said gruffly with a chuckle. "We were the only two "meatbags" on the ship at the time. We didn't consider having to worry about a voyeuristic assassin droid watching us."

"Clarification: I did not watch, I merely happened into the communications room while making my security rounds. I quickly removed myself from that room when my photo receptors began to burn with the images being displayed."

"Canderous, you old kath!" Vashti said, "I'd have never pictured you going for the princess type."

"Ah, that's the thing about Bastila, she is a fierce warrior as well as an infuriating spoiled brat. And I have to say, I think the council tries to keep Jedi from physical relationships to keep the galaxy from knowing what a woman adept at the force can do in bed. If it were widely known, the Jedi women would never get a moment of peace to get their jobs done."

Vashti snorted -the juma definitely doing its work. "I would confirm your story Canderous, but I actually have never been to bed with a man while I was open to the force. I certainly didn't do any of that before my exile, and obviously I haven't had much of a chance to try it out since becomming reconnected."

Mira piped up, "I'm sure Atton would be willing to let you try it out!"

Atton blushed slightly but grinned, "Anything to further important research into unexplored force powers. You know me, I'm all about sacrifice."

Vashti choked on her juma and after the coughing fit, quickly changed the subject, "hey who's winning?" she asked motioning to the pazaak cards lying on the table.

Mira chuckled, "You got me, I lost count somewhere on the 10th set. I think at this point the last one standing wins or should it be the first one to pass out?"

"Who cares? Just deal another hand, Atton. I want another drink." Vash grinned and elbowed Atton playfully. "So Canderous, what happened to Bastila? I thought all the Jedi died during the civil war?"

Canderous smiled to himself, "No, not all of them died, most of them just scattered. Bastila and I settled in a Mandalorian colony past the rim. She's there now, taking care of our son. He's got a few more years before he'll be old enough to join us on Dxun."

Vashti's jaw dropped once again, "You never told us you were married!"

"No one asked," he replied, a sparkle in his eye. "Family relations are not usually spoken of outside our own circles. We value our women and children. We choose to keep them out of the line of fire as much as possible."

"But Bastila is a powerful Jedi! She would be an asset to your training camp!" Vashti objected.

"And she will be, once Shan is old enough to join us at the camp. That should be in a few more years. We begin training at the age of 7. Until then, we will just have to make due with the short visits we get."

The circle of friends was quiet for a fewminutes contemplating this side of Mandalore. After a few moments Mira grinned and asked, "Vash, you never told us. Just what did those Jedi who drug you out of the pazaak game do with you once they had you?"


	4. Flying by the Seat of your Pants, Chocol...

**Flying by the Seat of your Pants, Chocolate and Mating Rituals**

"Nothing!" Vash exclaimed, blushing yet again. "They took me to my room and left me there! That's it!"

"Right, you expect us to believe that any man could throw an almost naked woman over his shoulder and not be affected?" Mira raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"No, I didn't say he was unaffected. I said he left me in my room. I tried to fight him to get lose and the energy that had built up in me during the game flooded out around him. I think I scared him." She grinned, "Yes, he was definitely affected, as was I, but the Jedi training is not easily escaped and once we got to my room, he quickly deposited me there and ran off. I never did give him or his friend the robe back." She grinned again.

"The men never forgave them for dragging you out of there," Bao said. "They found gizka in their beds more than once after that." He chuckled.

"Why is it I don't have any good stories about you, Bao?" Vashti asked.

"General, I was just a tech. Even if I had caused trouble, it is unlikely that you would have heard about it."

"Except that I was regularly in the commons area and was kept up to date on most of the gossip." She closed her eyes, trying to remember, "Wait, you were the one who was caught in the service lift with that female zabrak pilot, weren't you?"

Bao blushed now, the skin around each of his horns turning an especially bright shade of red. "What can I say, being one of ten zabraks on a ship does have its advantages at times." He smiled nostalgically. "I don't know what caused her to seek me out, but I wasn't going to complain. She was incredible, there's something about a pilot that brings another level of excitement to it. Perhaps it is because they're used to the power and the speed and rely on their instincts so much. I've been with a few more pilots since then and it's all the same, human or zabrak, they are great in bed."

Atton grinned broadly, "I'd have to agree with that!" he quipped.

Bao blushed and stammered, "ah I'm not sure if the same thing applies to male pilots, obviously."

Atton leaned back in his chair, a cocky look on his face, "I can assure you, it does." Mira snorted and threw one of the non-descript nutritional snacks that she had been munching at him. He caught it and popped it into his mouth with a grin. Then made a face. "We have got to get some better food on this ship," he complained as he chewed deliberately on the less than pleasant chunk of… something.

Visas stood and smiled, "I've got something. I'll be right back."

The group looked around at each other, wondering what she could have. She returned with a large duffel bag from which she began to pull a surprising assortment of food. There were fruits from all over the core worlds, packages of salty snacks and best of all Corellian chocolates.

"You've been holding out on us!" Mira exclaimed as she reached for one of the chocolates. "Where did you get this stuff?"

"I found it at the Rodian's stand on Nar Shaddaa," she replied quietly.

"She didn't have that stuff when I talked to her!" Vash complained as she reached for one of the packages of salty snacks, "And that was 2 weeks ago! You've had all this stashed away since then?"

"The Rodian did not have these things listed for sale, but since my diet is very strict, I asked her if she could get me any of these things. She gave me this bag and another like it. I had not realized that the food we had on board was quite so unpleasant, or I would have been happy to share earlier."

"Wait," Canderous questioned as he munched on a Coruscanti pear, "You're on a strict diet and yet none of these things are generally considered very healthy? Well, except for the fruit, I guess."

"I believe in enjoying food as it is one of life's small pleasures. I eat whenever I am hungry and always have some food with me. The energy derived from a good snack bolsters spirit, body and mind at once. And besides, I could never resist chocolate." She smiled as she picked up one of the chocolates and popped it into her mouth.

"I say we let Visas do all the grocery shopping from now on," Atton suggested, "All in favor?"

"AYE!" everyone said in unison.

Mira licked the chocolate off her fingers and went for another. The table was quiet for a moment, something she couldn't stand. She grinned suddenly an idea flitting across her face. She slipped her hand into Mical's robe. His eyes widened as she slid her hand down his chest with an alluring smile. The others exchanged amused glances as her hand stopped halfway down his chest. She cocked an eyebrow, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

"Um, Mira…" he stammered, she winked at him and suddenly snatched a datapad out of the fold of his robe. His already wide eyes grew dark as he realized what she had done.

"So, Mic, Whatcha been reading?" she giggled as she thumbed the datapad on. "_Reproductive Systems and Mating Rituals of the Twi'lek_" she read with a snicker.

"That is a medical text and you know it!" Mical interjected trying to defend himself.

"Yeah, maybe, but why study Twi'leks, eh?" she skimmed through the datapad briefly and began to read, "'The female use of lekku in the Twi'lek mating ritual is very extensive. A potential mate must wait for the distinctive twitching of the left lekku, the tchun, that signals to her suitor that he may begin his courtship ritual. Until the next signal however, the potential mate is only allowed to touch the tchun. He may use whatever techniques he chooses but is may only proceed in the ritual if the female feels his skills are worthy.'"

"Mical!" Vash giggled, "I had no idea you were into lekku."

"It's research!" Mical objected.

"What's not to be into?" Atton remarked, "They can do some amazing things with those extra appendages. Mmm, very nice indeed. But I never knew those things about the signals. Huh, I'll have to remember that next time I get the chance, you think I could borrow that for a bit, Mical?"

"Atton!" Vash smacked him on the shoulder again, harder this time.

"Ow, I'm gonna have a bruise there if you keep doing that, miss. Besides what do you care if I brush up on my Twi'lek mating rituals?" Atton smirked, "Oh, you're not … jealous… are you?"

Vashti stammered, "Jealous? Of course not, it's just that you're a Jedi now, you need to let go of your 'base lusts'"

Atton cocked an eyebrow another grin spreading. He leaned in close to her -their foreheads almost touching, "I'll be happy to do that… just as soon as you manage it." He then wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her up against him. She gasped in shock and fought him for a moment but he didn't relent and as his warmth spread through her she relaxed in his grip.

"You're going to have to fight harder than that if you want to make us believe you don't have a thing for him," Mira said smugly into her juma. "Not that we'd believe you then, either, but at least you could pretend a little better." She snickered. She thumbed through the Mical's datapad a bit more and burst out laughing.

"Mic, what in the world do you have bookmarked here?" She flipped the datapad around to reveal extensive diagrams of the female Twi'lek anatomy.

"Let me see that," Atton said, reaching out his free hand to take the pad. Vashti smacked his hand and glowered up at him over her shoulder. "Or, not." He said with a grin.

Canderous grabbed the datapad instead, "Yep, that's how I remember it." He passed the datapad to Bao, "How about you?" Bao nodded in appreciative agreement as Mical snatched the datapad out of his hands.

"I was studying the anatomy to further my medical training. Nothing more," Mical stated, a little too calmly.

"I didn't notice that the male anatomy was bookmarked," Mira smiled through her glass of juma.

Mical slipped the datapad back into his robe and closed his eyes. Everyone heard "There is no emotion, there is peace" mumbled beneath his breath and the table broke out in laughter again.

"You always were one to cause trouble, weren't you Mira?" Canderous smirked.


	5. Scenes from the 'Fresher

**Scenes from the 'Fresher**

"Eh?" Vashti asked, her eyes fluttering open momentarily, "you know something about Mira we don't?"

"Possibly," Canderous replied, "I seem to recall a little redheaded child who hauled ammunition and demolitions for us during the war. She had a remarkable ability for stirring up trouble wherever she went." Canderous leaned back in his chair, remembering. He lifted his glass of juma and drank. "She was just a kid, around 10 I think?" he raised an eyebrow at Mira who nodded with the realization that it was her turn to be embarrassed.

He grinned, "She worked hard and was one of the more talented recruits we'd gotten. When we weren't fighting though, she tended to run a little wild. She was a favorite of the men in her troop and they let her do pretty much as she pleased. There were the normal childish pranks, gizka in a few soldier's bunks, as well as some mysteriously missing provisions. She had a talent for pazaak, and was regularly hustling the new recruits out of their credits.

"I think what I remember the most is when she was caught in the men's 'fresher."

Mira groaned and dropped her face into her palm.

Canderous smirked, "I'll take that as a confirmation that it was, in fact, you at our camp."

Mira nodded again, "Yep, that was me. Guess this goes to show you can never really escape your past. Just when you think everyone's forgotten, someone else shows up and drags it all out again."

Mical grinned, feeling a little better at last, "so what were you doing in the men's fresher, Mira?"

All eyes focused on her as her ears began to match her hair. "I was just a kid," she said, "I was curious."

"There was more to it than that, as I remember," Canderous smirked again. "Apparently some holos started showing up around the camp. They contained images of some of the men in some rather interesting situations." He raised his glass again, drinking deliberately, enjoying the dramatic pause he was creating. "They started out fairly innocent at first. A few holos of men making fools of themselves after drinking too much. An occasional nose picker or someone scratching inappropriately. These holos would turn up in the mess hall, in the commons area or other places where they would be stumbled upon. No one knew who was doing it, and it was mostly just an amusing diversion between battles."

"Then it got more explicit. A couple in a passionate embrace, men saying things about other troops that they'd not have said if they'd known there was a holo-recorder running. There was this one conversation she recorded of an officer describing a sexual exploit with one of the female troops to another officer. That was when the shit hit the fan. The officer wanted to know who was responsible. The more he carried on about it, the more he made a fool of himself, but we did start paying more attention to our surroundings.

"She was finally caught when someone heard something above him while in the 'fresher cleaning up. As I heard the story, she jumped up and started running through the rafters above the deck, but she didn't make it far before he climbed up into the ceiling in front of her and hauled her out of there."

"I was so scared he'd catch me I forgot to ditch the holo-recorder," Mira confessed with a chuckle. "They put me on weapons duty, cleaning and repairing the rifles to keep me busy and they confiscated all my recordings and my recorder. I'd only distributed a small portion of them. Just when someone made me mad, or I thought it was particularly funny or harmless. Most of them I had kept for insurance, in case I needed a good blackmail scam for any reason later on."

Canderous chuckled, "The holo-recordings she didn't release became the officer's entertainment for many weeks afterwards. She should have gotten a job with HoloNet with her unerring eye for a good story."

"So Mira," Vashti questioned, "did you ever get yourself another holo-recorder?"

A slow smile crept over Mira's face as she raised her eyes and looked at each of her companions at the table.

"Did you know," she asked slowly as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small holovid disk and projector. She thumbed the holovid on as she finished her question, "that Atton sings in the shower?"

A half sized image of Atton sprang to life over Mira's palm and sure enough, he was in the _Hawk_'s 'fresher singing a popular Alderaanian romantic ballad. Atton's eyes fogged over with horror as he tried to grab the projector away from Mira. Vashti's weight slowed him down momentarily, and pushing her to the floor he slid across the table just in time for Mira to jump up and return the holovid to her pocket.

"Well, I think I'm going to hit the fresher! Good night!" Mira exclaimed as she scrambled across the common hall and locked herself in the women's 'fresher. Atton chased after her, and pounded on the 'fresher door. "You'll have to come out sometime Mira!" He yelled through the door, "And when you do, I'll be waiting for you!"

"Well," Canderous grinned, "I think that just ended our pazaak game, anyone know who won?"

"Mira," they all replied together laughing.

One by one they drained their glasses of juma said good night and made their way to their bunks. Vashti moved to the small sofa and pulled her legs up into her chest, smiling into her glass as Atton wandered back into the common area. He was scratching the back of his head in the cute awkward way he had when he didn't know quite what to say.

Vashti grinned at him, "So which was more embarrassing," she asked, "the part where you were naked or the part where you were singing a love song?" He chuckled with embarrassment as he sat down beside her. "The song you were singing is one of my favorites, you know." She flicked her gaze up at him.

He grinned and wrapped his arm around her waist again, pulling her up against him. She sighed contentedly and laid her head against his chest closing her eyes. They sat there like that for a moment, relishing the quiet moment. She smiled sleepily as he began to sing softly.

When Mira finally crept out of the 'fresher she found them there curled up together asleep on the sofa. She pulled her holo-recorder out of her pocket and flipped it on. This was a moment she just couldn't pass up.


	6. Midnight Meditations

A/N: I hadn't planned on writing any more for this piece, and I still feel like the story itself is very complete. But, I found myself wondering what happened between Vashti and Atton when they woke up in each other's arms. So here it is, for what it's worth. Again, this is purely character fluff. If I wrote anything that resembles a plot of any sort, I am truly sorry. :)

Thanks to all of you who took the time to review. It was such a rush to know that people were reading and enjoying my work.

PhantomMenace: The Canderous / Bastila relationship is a staple of the LSF Revan fics. I think it probably stems from the fact that as a female PC, Bastila is just irritating and needs regular slapping. I guess we all think Canderous is the perfect man for the job. Go Candy!

* * *

**Midnight Meditations**

Vashti began to come aware of her surroundings before fully regaining consciousness. Her neck hurt. Her left arm was caught and twisted unnaturally as was her back. Something strange seemed jammed up against her side and whatever she was laying on seemed to be moving very slightly and smelled of juma. There was another smell there too, one she couldn't quite place but was familiar and comforting to her.

Her eyes did not want to open yet. Instead she reached out with the force trying to "see" her surroundings. The first thing that hit her was the emotions. Warmth, contentment, affection, friendship, protectiveness, fear, attraction… love? All these feelings washed over her, filled her up and she felt her own emotions echo them. Then the emotions turned into a person. He was asleep and his presence beckoned her closer. She opened her thoughts to his.

"_Switch the face on the + or -1 card the total is 19…_" He even played pazaak in his sleep? She mentally chuckled and reached out further, trying to get past the surface thoughts. Images floated into her mind of Peragus – of her, from his perspective. The image puzzled her for a moment. She was pretty sure she hadn't looked like that, at least not that good… not all at once. Her hair hadn't been down and she doubted she had glowed that much after being in the kolto tank for days. Something was else different as well. She was wearing the skimpy dancers outfit she'd gotten when she'd danced for Vogga. She chuckled. Those parts didn't look quite right either.

Another image surfaced. She was kneeling next to T3, doing some maintenance. She had thought she was alone, had he been watching her? Again his conjuring of her seemed to have unmatched flawless beauty, in spite of the fact that she knew for certain she'd had oil smudged on her forehead that day.

Another image. She was meditating with Mical in the cargo hold. There was something menacing about the way he sat across from her. She felt the sleeping man's urges to protect her – to pull her away from him. Mira's voice floated through the image, "_Meditation Envy_."

In another image she saw herself in the co-pilot's chair in the cockpit. They were playing pazaak. He was letting her win? Once more the beauty of the woman in the image outshone herself considerably. She suddenly became a little frightened – did he really see her that way? How would she ever live up to that?

As her fears flitted through her mind she heard another conscious thought, "_what are you doing in my head?" _He asked her through their bond. She became embarrassed, mentally stammered and started to back out, remembering the promise she'd made to him not to invade his mind. _"Wait, I didn't say you have to go I just wondered what you were looking for."_

She tried to push her thoughts across the bond. She wasn't sure if he could hear actual thoughts or if he was just aware of her presence. _"You just felt so inviting and warm… I wasn't looking for anything in particular… just feeling you."_

"Mmm, I like to be felt…" he said softly into her ear. She giggled, opening her eyes for the first time since she had woken up. His brown eyes smiled down at her. She was laying against his chest with his arm wrapped around her waist. Her left arm was pinned between him and the small sofa they were resting on.

"I didn't feel you wake up," she said quietly, not wanting to take the chance of waking the rest of the crew. She pushed herself upright stretching her arms and neck and smiled at him warmly, surprised that he had been able to hear her thoughts.

"I felt you… your fear… it woke me." He paused a moment reaching out and brushing her cheek with his hand. "So what'd you see in there that scared you?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Images of me," she said with a dramatic shudder trying to sidestep the question, "That's some scary stuff." She winked at him and quickly changed the subject, "how long have we been asleep?"

"A couple of hours at most, it's early," he replied letting her avoid answering him for now, "a few hours before we usually have breakfast. But I doubt anyone will be up in time for that today, not after last night."

She chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Ugh, my back is killing me. You don't make the most comfortable bed, you know," she said teasingly.

"I'd be happy to put on some weight so I'm softer for you next time, if you'd like," he gave her his best cocky grin.

She couldn't help grinning back as she stood to stretch. She pretended she didn't notice him slip in the 'next time' comment. As soon as she was on her feet her head started to pound and she became aware that her whole body ached. "Oh damn, why'd you let me drink so much?" she asked him half seriously as she fell back onto the sofa.

He grinned lopsidedly at her as he shuffled into the kitchen area his hand against his forehead obviously feeling the after effects of too much juma as well. He returned with two large glasses of water and some sort of fruit from Visas' stash.

"Here, drink this," he said handing her a glass of water as he sat next to her. He peeled the fruit and offered her a piece, "I'm not sure exactly what this is, but it's citrus, which always seems to do wonders for my hangovers."

When she had finished eating she stood again and began to stretch. She worked on her neck muscles first and then leaned forward, her arms stretched out over her head and her fingers interlocked. She slowly jack-knifed her torso until her head was against her knees and she wrapped her arms around her legs.

Atton snickered behind her. She tilted her head to the side and glared at him around her knees, an amused smile escaped her lips. Wordlessly she dropped to the floor into a cross legged pose continuing to stretch. She twisted both directions, her back crackling happily as the tension was released. "Ah, much better," she mumbled as she slipped into the familiar meditation pose, her hands resting palm up on her knees.

Atton watched her, mesmerized by her fluid movement and then her peaceful stillness as she dropped into her meditation. A feeling of warmth began to creep through him. It spread out from the center as his cells began to tingle with a somewhat familiar sensation of force healing mixed with something more. When she opened her eyes again he realized his hangover had lessened a little.

"Hey, that's cheating!" he said with feigned disapproval, "You have to teach me how to do it," he added with a sly grin.

She considered him for a moment and then nodded with a slightly sadistic smile. She knew he hadn't really been serious about learning it, especially not right now, but she decided it was high time he learned some basic meditation techniques and what better motivation for _him_ than learning a hangover cure? Even if it was the middle of what passed for the night on the ship.

"Get some more water for us, and then sit across from me," she instructed. He began to protest but she cut him off, "**Now**, '_padawan_'" she demanded with mock severity her eyes twinkling with amusement.

In a perfect caricature of a subservient Jedi apprentice he put his hands together and bowed. "Yes, '_Master_' Meres," he replied, using her surname teasingly. She stifled a laugh. Somehow that just didn't sound right coming out of his mouth.

He was reluctant to meditatemostly because he didn't feel it was very "Atton" like, but then he was doing a lot of things that weren't very Atton like lately. His curiosity got the better of him and he decided to go along with her for now. But if anyone gave him any crap over it, he'd blame it on the Juma.

He returned with the water and lowered himself awkwardly to the floor. "The easiest position for basic meditation is the simple cross legged pose like I'm using." She began informatively. "You could also sit with your legs bent underneath you so that you're sitting on your feet, if that's more comfortable, but I find it's harder to balance that way and I usually wind up with my feet falling asleep. Of course, if you're really limber you can try the full lotus, or cobbler's pose." She demonstrated the last two poses to him ignoring his persistent smirk.

"Personally, I can't quite get into lotus far enough to keep my ankles from resting on the knees wrong and usually wind up with both of my legs falling asleep… cobbler's pose is nice sometimes, but I have to think about my balance too much to make me want to use it for meditation."

She moved back to cross legged pose, encouraging him to do the same. "Make sure that you don't actually cross your ankles, rather, keep your lower legs parallel to each other - One just in front of the other." He seemed to struggle for a moment but soon found a comfortable position. "Good," she said continuing her instructions. "Now, straighten your back, push your shoulders back and try to center your weight over your hips. You should be able to find a spot where you feel almost weightless." He gave her a look that clearly suggested he thought she was crazy. "Just try it," she said firmly.

As he struggled with the pose he felt her reach out with the force and push against his lower back and pull back on his shoulders. "There, that should be about right," she smiled at him. "Now, keeping your elbows tucked against your sides, hold your palms face up in front of your stomach. Slowly rotate your hands away from each other as far as you can, lining up your arms with your body. You should feel a stretch through the front of your chest." He nodded.

"Good. Place your hands palm up on your knees keeping your chest as open as it is right now." She smiled as he settled into the pose.

"Wow, this is actually pretty comfortable," he said genuinely surprised.

She nodded and grinned, "Yeah, those Jedi can be pretty smart sometimes." She winked at him and continued, "Now that your body is centered, you can more easily center your mind and focus on what you're trying to accomplish. Close your eyes," she instructed closing her own. "Reach out and try to feel everything around you."

She jumped as she suddenly felt a hand running up her leg. Her eyes flew open and he was grinning, his eyes still closed. "You said to feel everything…" he said mischievously.

She stifled a grin and began again, "Keeping your _hands_ to yourself, reach out _with the force_ and feel everything around you."

"Well, ok, but that doesn't seem nearly as much fun," he said reluctantly. She used the force to smack him on the shoulder, hitting the same spot she'd abused many times the night before.

"Ow! I told you I was going to have a bruise," he complained.

"I wouldn't have to hit you if you'd just keep your lecherous comments to yourself," she couldn't keep the grin out of her voice.

"Hrm, not much chance of that, is there? And really, I like it when you hit me…Why don't you just pick a different spot next time?" he suggested.

She rolled her eyes at him and continued her instruction. "OK, you know already how to use the force to heal wounds. This is similar, but on a much smaller scale. Reach out and try to sense your heart." She paused a moment, "that's the beating thing in your chest," she added with a grin. He hmph'd as he began to slip into the meditation. Moments later he reeled as his consciousness expanded and began to 'see' the things it had always just taken for granted.

"Once you've found the heart I want you to start concentrating on the blood flowing through it. The blood itself is made up of millions of different elements and cells. Try to sense each blood cell and each molecule of water or minerals within the blood." He tried to focus on the blood and became distracted, "Wow, this is really cool," he said as his mind shifted.

She sensed his focus slipping and instructed "Shhh, don't talk. When your thoughts drift from your task - start counting heartbeats until your consciousness clears enough to see again."

"Good," she said as she felt the focus shift again. "Follow your blood flow down to your stomach." He followed a random stream of blood down to his fingers. Nope this wasn't right – back to the heart. Another wrong turn and he found himself at his lungs. He paused there sensing the lungs transferring oxygen to and removing carbon dioxide from the blood. "_This is really cool, I wonder if this is what she and Mical meditate on all the time_," he wondered to himself.

"Not exactly," she said. "Focus." She nudged his mind towards his stomach. When he finally found it she continued, "Sense the water in your stomach. You want to use the force to help push it into your bloodstream. Follow the blood around your body. Use Speed to help your cells re-hydrate and expel the chemicals with the excess water back into the blood. You should use Heal on the cellular level to repair any damage done by the dehydration." She paused as he concentrated on following her instructions.

"Good," she said again. "Now when you get to your kidneys stay there and start pulling the water back out of the blood." She waited a few more moments and then said, "Great, Open your eyes…. How do you feel?"

He opened his eyes smiling at her, "Pretty good, I should have learned how to do this years ago."

She chuckled at him and said, "OK, you should probably make a trip to the 'fresher before you try again. Meet me back here with more water and you can do us both at the same time." Then she jumped up effortlessly and scurried off to the women's 'fresher herself.

When they met on the floor a few minutes later he glanced down at his hands and asked her, "so, what _do_ you and Mical meditate on all the time?" He sounded a little jealous.

"Nothing, usually," she answered dismissively. He gave her a look that said he didn't believe her.

"No, really," she tried to explain, "Meditation has many uses of course, it can help you learn new skills or focus on a particular task, like we're doing now. But most meditation is done to try to connect to the Force, to let it work through you. The problem is that our own thoughts, fears, desires and other emotions can get in the way of understanding the true will of the Force. So, when we meditate we try to focus on nothing - to empty our minds and let the Force show us what it will."

He looked at her skeptically, "so, why do you need to meditate with someone if you're trying to focus on nothing?"

"Well, for one thing, it is very hard to perceive the difference between your own thoughts and imaginings and what the Force is trying to tell you. But, it's pretty easy to tell when the person you are meditating with has lost their focus. So when you feel the person you're meditating with start to slip you can help and nudge them back to their center."

"So you two aren't like, mentally making out or making fun of me in your heads or anything then?" He said half teasingly.

She chuckled shaking her head in disagreement. "A little paranoid, are we? No, we aren't talking about you. Mical can't actually hear my thoughts yet, so we can't "say" anything to each other while meditating, though I do hear quite a bit of what he's thinking without meaning to." She made a face as she replied to the other part of the question, "As for mentally making out… _Mical_? He's just a kid, more like a little brother to me… ew… I helped teach him when he was at the academy on Dantooine… that's just gross."

Atton chuckled, "He's not that much younger than you, no more than the difference between you and Kavar…" he let the implications hang in the air for a moment.

She grinned involuntarily at the mention of his name but then frowned. The idea that she could have been anywhere near as idealistic and naïve as Mical was pretty unsettling to her, but she knew she had been at least as bad. Probably a lot worse. Poor Kavar. "Well, he probably thinks of me the same way I think of Mical. Weird."

"Right…," Atton scoffed.

She shot him an amused look, "So, are you ready to try this again? Or do you want to ask me about any of the other men in my life? We haven't talked about Bao yet, or Canderous for that matter. It's too bad he's married, I think he could be quite the…"

Atton's face paled and he interrupted her, "Let's just try the meditation thing again. Otherwise I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Good," she said with a grin.

She settled into the meditation pose again and encouraged him to do likewise. She closed her eyes and tried to center herself. After a few minutes she began to instruct him again. "Ok, when you have more than one target you have to expand your consciousness a little further. Let's start with the heart again."

He stretched out his senses beyond his own body this time. He found her heart and let his consciousness shift to monitoring both heartbeats at once. They beat differently, but the two separate rhythms began to meld in his mind.

"_Excellent," s_he said through their bond. He followed the blood around their bodies, expediting its work. She was impressed at how quickly he was picking this up, but then she felt him pause at her breasts. "_Only you would ogle from the inside"_, she thought amusedly.

"_Uhhh, sorry, hard not to notice…"_ he thought back to her. She shook her head and prodded him to move along. As he finished up the meditation she shielded her thoughts from him and began to wonder just what kind of mess she had gotten herself into.

* * *

Before her exile she had adhered strictly to the part of the Jedi code that forbade physical relationships quite willingly. But she had never been good at keeping from forming emotional attachments to those around her. She had heard many lectures from the Masters on how relationships are "fraught with dangerous emotions and best to be avoided." She couldn't count the number of times she was told that the bonds she formed would cause her to fall to the dark side. 

In the end she supposed they had been right. It was her bonds with people that caused her to not be able to sit by while they died. And it was going to war that caused her exile. She hadn't fallen per se, but she didn't think the council saw it that way.

After she was exiled she avoided the emotional attachments that had caused her so much pain. She had preferred to be alone most of the time. But when the loneliness had rolled in she would often find herself in a cantina picking up some cocky spacer who had caught her eye. Usually they were the type that had a girl in every space port and would be flying out tomorrow. It was the way she preferred it. It seemed fitting to her that her relationships were hollow and empty, just like she was.

She had moved around a lot during this time. Often flying out when the same guy appeared on her loading ramp once too often. When she landed in the next place she would resume her solitary existence for a few months until the loneliness overwhelmed her and she found herself back in the cantina again.

Once the force had re-awakened in her though, she had slipped back into her old habits. She had been surprised how easy it was to project the same prudish air she'd had as a Jedi. But she had known that she would never be truly celibate again. It was much easier to refrain from something when you didn't know what you were missing.

There had been times since Peragus when she had desired a bed-mate. But living on such a small ship didn't allow for her usual short term relationships. She had fancied the idea of propositioning one of the crew a couple of times, but they each had their issues. Mical was too young and was much too idealistic to have any real fun with. She'd known Bao-Dur much too long to think about him that way, though she did love his voice and had a feeling he would be a very considerate lover. Canderous was a very interesting prospect for a romp, but he'd never really shown any interest in her and last night she'd learned that he was married - guess that explained it. So that left Atton.

Atton would have been just her type during her exile. She'd have taken him back to her ship and played with him for a while - until she got bored. He'd have probably kept her interested a little longer than most… he was a bit smarter and less predictable than the others. But in the end, they'd have parted company - both of them perfectly happy with what had been.

But she hadn't met Atton back then. She met him after she had begun to feel the force again. That made everything different. She hadn't wanted the emotional attachments during her exile. Now she couldn't stop them from forming. Her force bond with Kreia had been stronger than any other bond she'd ever experienced, it was almost unsettling. Each time they had picked up a new crewmate she had instinctively started reaching out - weaving them into her own consciousness. She reveled in the other presences she carried with her in her mind now. She hadn't realized just how lonely she had been. She didn't ever want to have to say goodbye to another friend again.

And that was where the conflict came in. In the past, the men she spent time with always left quickly, usually of their own accord. But Atton wasn't going to be gone tomorrow. He would still be there when she woke up and that scared her.

She had always protected herself from getting too close to others. Where she had physical intimacy, she had protected herself by blocking the emotional. Where she had emotional intimacy, she had protected herself by keeping them at arms length. At the time she dismissed it as following the code, but in reality it was more than that. She realized now that she had been scared of letting anyone get too close to her.

She didn't know why she was that way. It didn't make any sense to her that the idea of true intimacy made her want to run and hide. But it did. She wondered if other people felt this way. She thought at times that it was some ancient self preservation instinct. Don't get too attached, they might be eaten by a krayt tomorrow. Or, more likely, maybe it was a result of growing up in the Order and always being told how dangerous relationships were.

Dangerous or not, she couldn't block the emotional bond with Atton now. It was too late for that. She could shield her thoughts from him for a short time, but he was always there again when she took down the barriers. It was nice in some ways, but a little scary as well. Especially since she found it harder and harder to resist the physical contact she craved.

She was attracted to him. There was no doubt about that. But when he looked into her eyes it scared her. She knew he could see her, all of her. He could see her thoughts, he could see her very soul. And that had made her want to hide from him. She didn't trust the emotions he evoked in her. She didn't want to be in that deep.

But she was. She was up to her chest in the quagmire of emotions she felt for him. There was no escaping it now. She knew he was there too, stuck somewhere in muck, they had only to find each other now. It was just a matter of time. Knowing this, part of her just wanted to surrender herself to him now, heart, body and soul. But there was another part of her that wanted to play "the game". She had been good at the game during her exile, but the bond made it completely different. Before the game she played with the men in her life was like a battle. Now it became more like an intricate dance. Each side step, each feint would be seen for what it was - a way to pass the time while they waited for the inevitable.

* * *

Atton finished up his meditation and opened his eyes, he looked at her a moment before he spoke. "You're blocking me… Why? What are you thinking about?" 

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. "I was thinking about my exile," she said, only half truthfully, "and also how nice it is to have real friends again," she added quickly hoping the answer would appease him. She stood and stretched one more time the after effects of the juma were gone now. "Ah, much, much better. Good job." She smiled down at him.

"They won't be up for a few more hours," he said yawning as she helped him to his feet.

She nodded. "When they do wake up, you can practice your new skills on them," she suggested.

He made a face. "Ewww. I do NOT want to see the inside of anyone else on this ship. I mean, Visas and Mira wouldn't be so bad, but Canderous? Bao-Dur? _Mical? _Yech!"

She chuckled at him. "Once you've had practice you won't actually have to visualize everything anymore. So I guess… save Mical for last?" she suggested with a grin. "But now," she said dismissively, "I need to sleep… somewhere flat. How in the Force can you possibly sleep sitting up as much as you do?" She asked him, not really expecting an answer.

He thought for a moment about telling her the truth - that he avoided real sleep because he tended to have nightmares. But something about the way she was obviously trying to ditch him made him want to play her game - to get under her skin. So, instead he just grinned, and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I just don't like to sleep alone," he said suggestively as he locked eyes with hers. He took a step towards her predatorily. She felt his eyes bore into her soul and she suddenly felt very vulnerable.

She panicked. Trying to escape his gaze she took a step backwards without thinking. Something banged against her leg and without warning she was falling. In her attempt to flee she had backed straight into a footlocker and knocked her feet out from under her. Before she could right herself, he caught her. His arms wrapped around her torso and she instinctively threw her arms around his neck. He kept her there, off balance, his eyes locked with hers, as an amused smile played across his lips. She clung to him to keep from falling, unable to break the eye contact or get her feet back under her. He slowly lowered his lips to hers. She closed her eyes then, as he closed his - both of them savoring the kiss. He kissed her deeply, not just with his lips but also with his mind. The emotions poured over her as he pushed all of his feelings across their bond. Their conscious minds merged for a moment and she was unable to tell where she ended and he began.

He broke the kiss finally and looked down at her affectionately as he put her back on her feet. A playful smirk crossed his lips as he took a cue from Canderous' story from the night before. He stroked her cheek lightly with his thumb and leaned forward, his lips just inches from her ear. "Goodnight, Princess," He whispered. He winked as he turned and ambled down the hallway to the cockpit.

She stood there a moment disoriented, watching him walk away and trying to piece together everything that had just happened. When he disappeared around the bend in the hallway she turned and walked towards her bed with a big, dumb grin on her face.

He was very good at this game.


	7. Round Two

A/N: Thanks again for all the nice reviews. It is because of your prodding that this chapter was written at all, so you only have yourselves to blame this time. I would like to apologize for the blatant use of cliches starting with the kiss scene in the last chapter and continuing on full force in this one. But they wouldn't be cliches if they didn't work... at least I hope they work. Anyhow, it was fun writing this drivel and I hope you enjoy reading it.

* * *

Round Two 

As soon as he was around the bend in the hallway Atton jumped and tagged the ceiling lightly, unable to contain his jubilance any longer. He strutted the rest of the way to the cockpit, reveling in his success. She had been putty in his hands. He still had it. Oh yeah.

As he entered the cockpit T3 warbled at him cheerfully. "Go on, get out of here, you rusty tin can, I'll take the controls now." The droid chirped disapprovingly at him. "What? You think I'm drunk?" It beeped a confirmation. "Well, I'm NOT," Atton snapped at the little droid. T3 chortled skeptically. "If you must know, I'm _happy_. I know, it's a shock to me too. Now go! Before I start using you for target practice!" Atton waved his blaster at T3 dramatically as the droid wheeled itself down the hallway. Atton grinned and fell into his chair triumphantly. He kicked his feet up onto the console, angled the seat backwards and crossed his arms over his chest.

Absentmindedly he ran a finger over his lips. He could still taste her. He could still smell her too. He bent his head down and sniffed at his shirt, her scent lingered there. His grin broadened. He hadn't felt this alive in… well… ever. He'd been in love before, of course, who hadn't? But it had been a long time ago and he hadn't been connected to the force back then. Her kiss was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. He thought that it probably would have ranked at least in the top 5 of his all time greatest kisses even without the bond… but with it, it had blown them all away.

He closed his eyes and began his mental pazaak game as he recalled the events of the evening. He remembered the way she'd put her hand on his knee or leaned against him. How she'd blushed repeatedly when she'd been embarrassed. He remembered how she felt when he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. How incredible it had been when she fell asleep curled up with him, her head on his chest. He wished for a second he could freeze that moment in time. It had been one of those rare times when everything just felt right. So content, so peaceful. He had forgotten everything else then. For those few minutes before he'd fallen asleep she had been the only thing in his world.

He'd only had two other times in his life that had felt so right. The first time he'd been 17 and she had been amazing. He guessed now that first love had been like that for most people, but at the time he'd thought he was the only person in the galaxy who'd ever felt that way. He'd thought he would marry her, but life had other plans. He'd joined the Republic fleet primarily because he'd thought it was the fastest way to establish himself and get her to accept his proposal. When he told her he was shipping off to flight school she had practically swooned. He'd thought she'd be sad he was leaving her, but something about the whole notion of being engaged to a pilot in the Republic Fleet had appealed to her. They had spent the night before he left in each others arms exhausting themselves - each of them trying to give the other some unforgettable memories to help get them through the coming months of separation. It had been in the wee hours of that morning that he had first experienced one of those perfect moments. He had lain there, intertwined with her, both of them long past exhausted and she had pledged her eternal devotion to him. It had been perfect.

It turned out, however, that her definition of "eternal" had been about three months. As the weeks passed the communication between them became less and less frequent. At first he had been distressed and tried to get leave to go see her. He'd pleaded with his commanding officer but the CO had been heartless and the old saying had rung true: If the Republic had wanted him to have a girlfriend, they would have issued him one with his uniform. He hadn't been surprised when he received a small package from her with his ring and a note explaining how she had fallen for a young doctor back home. She went on and on about how sorry she was, that she hadn't meant to, that it had just happened… it was destiny. He scoffed as he threw the datapad into the disintegrating trash receptacle, shoved the ring down in his pocket and headed to the cantina. He'd traded the ring for a few pazaak cards and soon forgot about her; drowning himself in pazaak, juma and the arms of one of the female members of his squadron.

The second time he'd had a moment like this had been when he slipped behind the controls of his first ship, the _Star Crawler_. She hadn't been much, just a small freighter, but she was magical to him. He'd won (and lost) her playing pazaak on Nar Shaddaa. But for the few years he'd had her, she had been better to him than any woman ever had. She was fast, responsive and he had always known instinctively just how to handle her. It had been the moment he'd first made the jump to hyperspace with her that had been perfection. He had been headed to Corellia to pick up a "shipment" for one of the hutts. He'd flown a lot early on in the Fleet, before he'd been reassigned to the "special forces", but he'd never been at the controls of his own ship as it made the mystical jump. The moment the stars blurred in his vision he had been flooded by adrenaline, pride, and the sense of purpose that can only be achieved by piloting your own ship.

Now he had a third moment to file away with the other two. He hoped this one might end better than the others had, but regardless he was feeling pretty damn good right now. As he reveled in his thoughts he drifted off to sleep.

He woke up to the sound of Mira settling into the co-pilot's chair. "What do you want?" He asked her grumpily.

"Always a bucket of sunshine, aren't you?" she quipped back. "I was just checking to see if I needed to relieve T3, but I see you're here already. Asleep, as usual, but here."

"What can I say, I'm so good, I fly better in my sleep than most guys do on a double caffa."

"Riiight. Speaking of caffa though, Mical is making some, if you want. Does your head hurt as bad as mine?"

"Uhhh, no, actually. Vash showed me something last night…"

Mira interrupted him with a laugh, "I bet she did."

"Always have your mind in the gutter, don't you?"

"Not always, no. But, when I went to bed last night, you two were snuggled up on the sofa. When I got up, Vash's in her bunk and you're back here, grinning in your sleep. What's up?"

"We woke up, talked a little and she went to bed." He said shortly. He'd been going to tell her about the hangover cure, but he was suddenly very reluctant to do anything nice for her, or any of the crew. Especially not if it meant they would wind up making fun of him… which they would, since he was "meditating". Vashti would be aggravated when she got up and he hadn't done what she'd suggested, but he didn't think that was a bad thing right now. He needed to keep her off balance emotionally. Things would be much more fun that way.

Mira scoffed, "So why the grin then?" Atton scowled at her as if to prove he hadn't been grinning. "You really did a number on her last night," she glanced at him and his scowl had lessened a little. "You should have seen her when she came back to the dormitory. She's got it bad." He couldn't keep from grinning. "She was practically flying. She woke us all up. Bao, Kreia and me, but I don't think she noticed, even though Kreia was fuming."

At the mention of Kreia's name Atton's grin lessened considerably. "Ugh, I wonder how long I've got before I get my lecture from the witch."

"Yeah, you're gonna get it," Mira confirmed, "but, she seems to be really distracted. She won't talk to anyone, keeps saying something about needing to meditate on the meeting with the council. So you might get a slight reprieve."

The thought wasn't very comforting. Kreia had made it very clear that he wasn't supposed to get that close to her, or more accurately, that he wasn't supposed to let her feel those sorts of things for him. Well, too late for that now. Not like he'd really been trying… he couldn't help it if he was so damn irresistible. He grinned cockily to himself.

Mira shook her head. "You've got it bad too. It's cute. It almost makes you seem human."

"Now, don't you go falling for me too. One Jedi chick at a time is more than any man can handle." He said with an obnoxious sneer.

Mira snorted. "You're just trying to get me to leave, aren't you?" she asked as she stood.

"Whatever works," he chuckled back to her.

* * *

"Exile, wake up, I must speak with you," Kreia's voice grated against Vashti's ears jarring her from her sleep. She squinted at the older woman and then sat up, blinking sleepily. 

"What is it, Kreia?" She asked a tad grumpily.

"I may not be able to see, but I am not blind. Something happened between you and the fool last night."

Vash waited a moment, thinking she was going to continue making her point, but the older woman didn't say anything more. She just continued to do that freaky blank stare thing where you couldn't see her eyes, but you still knew she was staring at you. "And?" Vashti had no desire to have this conversation with this woman but she'd learned a long time ago that she would say what she felt she needed to regardless of what you wanted - even if she had to invade your mind to say it.

"The work you have yet to do is much too important for you to become distracted by such things. Especially with _him_."

"And?" She asked again, not in the mood to defend herself or her actions.

"You must not allow it to continue! This is not the time for such things. You should be preparing yourself for the meeting with the Jedi Council on Dantooine. And beyond that meeting, there are still the Sith Lords you must deal with. Personal feelings for anyone at this point will only be a liability."

"I will take what you have said into consideration," Vashti replied almost out of habit. How many times had she said these same words to this woman to appease her? She couldn't even begin to count them.

"I grow tired of your diplomatic words and your deceitful agreement. You chain yourself to that fool and he will be nothing but a weight around your neck. You would be wise to heed my warning."

"Perhaps, Kreia, you're probably right, of course, but it's too late now. The chain has been forged. And I have spent too much of my life running away from my heart." She paused a moment, smiling quietly to herself. "We have 2 days before we get to Dantooine, and I plan on enjoying them."

Kreia scoffed at her and went back to her meditations. _Well, at least that's over with_, She thought to herself as she laid back on her bunk. _What is?_ She heard his question so loudly in her mind that she almost jumped. _Would you quit doing that? Force, you practically gave me a heart attack. Besides aren't you always the one complaining about Jedi invading other people's minds? _

_I can't help it if your thoughts come screaming out at me. It wasn't like I was trying to listen or anything. _She thought she could hear the pout in his voice.

_Fine, just… let me know you're there before you start talking to me next time, will you? I really don't need anymore gray hairs._ She groused back at him.

_You have gray hairs?_ This time she could hear his amusement.

_Yes, and they've all shown up since I let you out of that force cage on Peragus._

Kreia cleared her throat loudly and glared up at Vashti. The younger woman made a concerted effort to shield her thoughts from Kreia. _Oops,_ Vashti mentally giggled, _we were disturbing Kreia's meditation… I forgot how easily she can hear me. I think I've got her blocked now._

_Eh, come to the cockpit and we'll chat in person. I know I'd feel better that way._

_Ok, I'll come up there after a bit, need to get cleaned up first.. _

Vashti drug herself out of bed and headed toward the fresher. She felt considerably more awake as she slipped her clean tunic and leggings onto her still slightly damp body. She wrapped a towel around her shoulders as she braided her still very wet hair and headed out into the common area. Everyone, except Atton and Kreia, was there, all sipping mugs of caffa and looking like they were feeling pretty miserable.

"Um, you guys have hangovers?" They all glared at her their answers obvious. _I told you to cure everyone's hangovers when they woke up._

_And I told you I didn't want to do it._ His answer was defensive and almost aggressive.

She fumed and the rest of the crew regarded her curiously as they saw the anger creep over her. "Are you all right?" Mira asked her.

Vashti tried to smile, "yeah, I'm fine. I uh… just thought you guys would be feeling better by the time I got up." Before anyone could say anything else she closed her eyes and began calling on the force. They were all surprised at how much better they felt when she opened her eyes again. "Better?" They all nodded. "Mical, come with me? I think I need to meditate on some things." Mical's face brightened considerably and he eagerly jumped up to follow her.

They made their way to the cargo hold and dropped to the floor there. "Would you like to talk about it first?" Mical asked hesitantly.

"No, I don't even know what it is that's bothering me, really." He looked at her skeptically. "Let's just meditate, ok?" He nodded and they slipped into their poses.

_Nothing. Nothing. Focus on nothing. _She thought to herself also making sure to shield her thoughts. _Nothing… he does nothing I tell him to do… _She fumed._ No, not that nothing. Nothing… let go of your anger… empty your mind… _As always happened when she tried to empty her mind, her hearing became very acute and she began to hear laughter coming from the lounge. Canderous' big bellowing laugh along with Mira's amused chuckles. _I wonder what they're laughing about…NOTHING, she reminded herself suddenly. Ugh, this isn't working… Heartbeats, count heartbeats… One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, hrm, my heart is beating fast… though not as fast as it was last night. Especially not after that incredible kiss. _Her heart beat faster at the memory._ Eight, nine, ten… I wonder how many tens he dealt on purpose… eleven, twelve thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen… switch the sign of the plus or minus 2 card and the total is 20… _The thought startled her, she wasn't exactly sure if it was hers or not. _Hrm, maybe counting isn't the best thing. Focus on something benign, meaningless… Jedi Temple, fountains, training… there that's better… Coruscant, traffic, learning to fly a speeder, crashing… boy he's crashed this ship a lot… not that it's his fault, it's my fault we keep getting shot at… damn it, there I go thinking about **him **again… I wonder what Mical's thinking about over there…probably nothing… damn show off… _this thought startled her as well. _Atton? _She called to him, still shielding her thoughts, wondering if he could hear her in spite of her barriers. _Hrm… no answer. I don't think he can hear me, but why in the world would I have started playing pazaak or insulting Mic? Those couldn't have been my thoughts… But, they'd have to be mine, I'm blocking his. Oh, no. I've gotten too close… I'm starting to think like him now… Sith Spit. _

"Vashti?" Mical said her name questioningly and she opened her eyes, a slight scowl on her face. "I sense you're having trouble focusing… are you sure you wouldn't like to talk about whatever is bothering you?"

Vashti rubbed her face in frustration. "No, I don't… I'm just annoyed with… well, annoyed…" she gave him a meaningful look and he nodded.

"Perhaps you should try focusing on the code?"

"Right the code, I'll try that." She closed her eyes and began again. _There is no emotion, there is peace, a giant piece of nonsense is more like it… Ok… not a good way to start… Deep breath... try again... There is no ignorance there is knowledge… the knowledge that the council is full of egotistical geezers…well, except for Kavar maybe… there is no passion, there is serenity… but my favorite kind of serenity comes AFTER the passion… mmmm… it's been waaaay too long…_She lingered on that thought for a moment. _There is no death, there is the force… and becoming one with the force is NOTHING like death. Nothing at all, how silly of you. _

_Ugh, I don't think that's how you're supposed to do it…Sith's Blood. What the hell is wrong with me? I haven't been this restless since… well… since the time I picked up that smuggler… damn, he had a nice butt… and the way he touched me was…_

"Vashti!" Mical's voice cut through her thoughts. Her eyes flickered open, annoyed with him. "I don't think that whatever you were focusing on was working. Perhaps you should try to work off some of your excess energy before trying to meditate again."

"Yeah, maybe that's a good idea… so grab a practice saber and we'll…"

Mical interrupted her, "No, not with me. I have some things I need to do… and I don't think I want to take his beatings for him anyhow." He stood quickly and left her in the room by herself. She frowned as she pulled her knees up to her chest. _What the hell did he mean by that?_

"By what?" Atton's voice made her jump for real this time. Her eyes shot to where he was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed.

"Damn it! Will you QUIT sneaking up on me?" she snapped at him. She jumped to her feet and began digging through supplies.

"Sorry, I didn't realize standing in a doorway qualified as sneaking," He responded sarcastically.

She glowered at him, "What do you want anyhow?"

"Well," he began agitatedly, "I got tired of sitting alone in the cockpit waiting for this woman I know to show up and grace me with her presence…. Like she said she would." His glare deepened. "So I decided to go find her, and guess what? She was "_meditating_" with her boy toy alone in the cargo bay."

"Force! You are immature!" she turned toward him and just about yelled at him now. "If you cannot grasp the concept of meditation, then you need to seriously reconsider your current life path."

"I get it, sister, but I also get other things." He raised his voice to match hers. "I felt the emotions rolling off you when you were in here with him. I felt your restlessness, your desires… Force, it was rolling off of you so strongly you scared the kid off!"

"You're imagining things. Mical had things to do. And I do as well," She finally pulled a practice saber out of the bin she was rummaging through. "Could you go ask Bao or Mira to come here? I'd like to get in some saber practice."

"Bao or Mira?" He fumed for a moment, then smirked, "I guess you are afraid of me, now?"

"No, I'm afraid of what I might do to you if I fought you right now." She answered, her voice steely.

"Give me your best shot, babe" he said pulling his saber off his belt and igniting it. He spun the double yellow blades in front of him slowly.

She threw the practice saber aside angrily and grabbed her own sabers off her belt igniting them simultaneously. In her right hand she held her silver saber and in the left she wielded a short saber with a violet crystal. She twirled her blades on each side of her, warming up her elbows and wrists.

They circled each other for a moment. It wasn't the first time they'd dueled by any means, but it had always been fairly friendly before. Now, she wanted to hurt him… or at the very least knock him down a peg or two. She made the first move, swinging her silver blade upward, close to the center of his double blade. As he shifted his saber to deflect her blow she jabbed forward with her shorter saber from the side. He snaked sideways to avoid her second blade and spun his double blade quickly, catching both her blades and twisting them in her grip. To avoid losing them, she snapped her arms outward, away from the spin, leaving her body momentarily open to attack. He didn't hesitate. He quickly shifted the spin of his saber to swipe vertically at her torso.

She cursed mentally as she jumped back, feeling the heat from his blade as it skimmed the air where she had been. Her sabers spun in front of her again a split second later as she regained her stance. She fumed at him as he smirked at her. _Be patient. Let him make the first move._ She thought to herself as she began to circle him again.

_I made my first move last night, if you'll recall… and I'm pretty sure you liked it. _His mouth stayed turned up in its persistent smirk as his voice echoed in her head. _Damn it! Get! Out! Of my! Head!_ She punctuated each piece of the thought with a violent chop of her silver blade. He deflected each one easily stepping towards her with each blow, grinning at her lack of focus, as he backed her straight into a wall.

She felt her back press against the wall and cursed again as she crossed her blades in front of her, keeping him from coming any closer. He cocked an eyebrow at her as he spun his saber quickly from side to side, pinning her against the wall. The proximity of his blades to her shoulders was unnerving, but not as unnerving as the closeness of his cocky grin. She knew that if he tried to strike at her she would be able to block and escape. But she also realized as he stood there smirking at her, that he wasn't in any hurry to give her the chance to move away from him. _He's playing a game with me…_ She thought to herself making sure he didn't hear her this time. _If I want to beat him, I have to play the same game. You can't win a game of pazaak playing dejarik. _Suddenly her anger melted away and a fiery look sparked in her blue eyes. He started almost imperceptibly at the sudden change in her demeanor, but it was enough.

In a flash, she turned off her blades, dropped to the floor and did a forward somersault through his legs, taking extra care to make sure she brushed against the more sensitive areas as she rolled. She leapt to her feet directly behind him, spun to face him, and reigniting her blades again she body slammed him against the wall were she had been standing a second before. Fortunately for him his reflexes had been fast enough to extinguish his blades as his saber and arms became pinned between him and the wall.

Her sabers were on each side of him and her body pressed against his back trapping him. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned forward her lips almost brushing against his ear. _Damn he even smells good sweaty_. She thought as she whispered, "Give up?"

He leaned into her a moment, feeling each curve pressing into his back. She pressed into him harder, and breathed hard against his neck. Feeling her overbalance against him, he pushed off from the wall suddenly, sending her backwards across the floor on her rear end as he spun away from the wall and re-ignited his saber. "Nah, I'm having way too much fun to want to give up yet." He said with a smug grin.

She jumped to her feet again and reignited her own sabers returning his grin. "Come and get me, flyboy." She said huskily as she spun her sabers almost invitingly.

His grin widened considerably as he stepped toward her, slashing downward at her torso. She blocked the blow with her short saber stopping it mid spin and slashed horizontally at his waist with her other blade. As soon as Atton felt the resistance to his attack, he quickly reversed the direction of the spin of his blade blocking her silver blade from hitting his waist and knocking it upward. He then spun his saber around his waist, trying to take advantage of the opening he'd created. She stopped his blade as it swung around him and quickly placed her second blade on the other side of his, trapping it between hers. She wrenched it sideways savagely and he had to jump to avoid having his leg chopped off by the other end of his own blade. Mid-jump he thought to extinguish his saber to free it of her grasp and as he did so, he used the force to redirect his jump sideways out of the reach of her sabers as he reignited his.

She grinned at him as she stepped closer, a flurry of strokes striking out at him. He parried each blow with a quick spin of his saber, but her strikes were unrelenting. She kept stepping towards him and he realized too late that she had backed him into the wall this time. As the shock of feeling the wall behind him settled over him, she reached out with her hand and used the force to wrench his weapon out of his hands, throwing it across the floor of the cargo hold. She stepped closer, still spinning her sabers on each side of him. She stopped their spin as she took another step towards him. She leaned in close to him, "Give up now?" she whispered as she pressed against him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him as she extinguished her sabers and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him. Where his kiss had been tender and sweet, hers was hungry and passionate. She dropped her sabers and began pawing at his chest with one hand while stroking the back of his neck with the other. It was as the kiss slowed that she became aware of an unusual noise coming from the other side of the ship. _What the hell?_ She thought as she listened more closely and realized that she was hearing whoops and cheering coming from the general direction of the lounge. Suddenly she snapped her head around and glared at the cargo hold's security camera. The cheers stopped immediately. She closed her eyes as she broke free from his grasp, used the force to call her sabers and stormed out the door towards the communications room.

She caught them all still standing in the com room, looking quite sheepish. "Did you guys enjoy the show?" she asked obviously agitated.

Mira spoke up quickly, "We were just watching the duel, Vash. It wasn't our fault you turned it into more than that."

Canderous, never one to be apologetic for anything, said with a smirk, "I guess HK was right about people forgetting about the security cameras when the mating rituals begin."

She clenched her jaw and happened to glance over at the security screen just as Atton ignited his saber and the screen went black. Her eyes widened and she turned and left the room as quickly as she had arrived. She went back to her bunk, and laid there for a little while, trying to regain her composure. It didn't help that she could feel Kreia's smugness at her predicament, but she knew that as long as she was this close to the old woman that Atton wouldn't come seek her out. At least not in person.

She didn't know what bothered her so much about everyone watching her. It wasn't like the crew had done anything wrong. She'd have been in there watching too, if she hadn't been the one making a fool of herself. She sighed and rolled to face the wall as she sensed Mira entering the room.

Mira glanced uneasily at Kreia but sat herself on Vash's bunk anyhow and patted her on the shoulder. "You know we just want you to be happy."

"I just feel so stupid," she mumbled back to her.

"Stupid? Why? It was great.. You should have seen the look on his face as you walked out. You **really** got to him. Be proud, girl! Makes me want to loan you my stun cuffs and Bothan stunner." She grinned as Vashti giggled and sat up. "Seriously though, anything you need to pursue your target, just ask me." She dug in her pocket and pulled out the holovid disk she'd shown them the night before and handed it to her. "And you know, I don't ever want to watch this again." She shuddered dramatically. "I also added a little something extra on the end, you'll want to check out, I think."

Vashti snickered and glanced over at the older woman still meditating on the floor. She'd have to find someplace else to watch it again. "Anyhow," Mira continued, "I think we're about to get lunch out if you're hungry." She patted Vash on the knee again and stood to leave. Vashti followed her out to the common room and managed to suppress most of her blush as she met the amused glances of her crew. Her discomfort faded quickly though as the food began to appear and she began to focus on filling her growling stomach that grumpily informed her she had missed breakfast.

It was a short time later when Atton stormed from the direction of the cargo hold. He stopped briefly and grabbed something to eat as he glared hungrily at Vash. He shoved a piece of fruit in his mouth and then quickly turned and stormed towards the cockpit. As soon as he was gone, she broke out with a giant grin as she and Mira exchanged looks. Vashti decided she'd let him stew a little before the next round.


	8. Meddling and Manipulations

**Meddling & Manipulations**

Atton was sulking. There was no doubt about that. He sat in the cockpit by himself, shuffling his pazaak deck agitatedly. He could hear the rest of the crew enjoying themselves in the common area and it annoyed him. She was out there with them, laughing and cutting up. She shouldn't be with them, she should be here with him… or at the very least he should be in there with her. But, he didn't feel welcome out there for some reason. Everyone knew about them now, not that there had been any big secret about it before, but it was much more serious now and he didn't think he could go out there and pretend nothing had happened. And he damn sure wasn't going to go out there and fawn over her. Not after the way she had dumped him in the dirt earlier.

He'd been frustrated when she walked out of the cargo hold, but he'd assumed she'd be back once she dealt with the crew. He'd even destroyed the room's security camera while she was gone so that they'd have some real privacy when she got back. But she hadn't come back. He waited for a while, but he realized she wasn't coming when he heard her in the commons laughing with the rest of the crew. He'd thought about calling to her over their bond, but he damn sure wasn't going to appear desperate now. He could outwait her. He was pretty sure he could anyhow. His biggest problem had been that once she had wound up back out in the lounge there wasn't any way for him to get back to the cockpit without going by her.

He hadn't meant to look at her at all when he passed through, but he hadn't been able to help himself. She had been so cute, sitting there, shoving food into her face. She'd flushed slightly as he'd entered the room. She'd had that guilty look on her face too. The one that told him she knew exactly what she was doing to him. But at the same time, her aura told him that she was enjoying it thoroughly. Women.

What frustrated Atton the most about women was that there were only three kinds, and they all had major problems. First there was the boring kind. They were generally stupid and couldn't think for themselves enough to breathe, much less play a good game of pazaak or hold a decent conversation. The second kind of woman was capable and not exactly boring, but they were predictable. Predictable could be a lot of fun for a while, kind of like flying a speeder. Once you knew where all the buttons were, you could make them go wherever you wanted them to. But, like flying the speeder, after a while it just got to be a chore and you began to wonder why you thought it was fun in the first place.

The third kind of woman was the really frustrating kind but fortunately for his mental state, they were pretty rare. They were the ones that just when you thought you might have them figured out they went and changed the rules again. Vashti had been a perfect example of this kind. Back on Peragus, she'd wandered into his life in her underwear and then promptly began to play the prude.

He'd almost left her on Citadel station. He figured he could earn enough playing pazaak to bribe Czerka into a ride to Nar Shaddaa, but she had just expected him to stay, so he had. At first he just figured it was something to do, she needed a pilot, he needed a place to sleep, some food to eat, someone to play pazaak with and enough credits for the occasional glass of juma. But it didn't take him very long to realize that as long as that old witch was hanging around her he wasn't going to go anywhere. He knew that Vash didn't entirely trust the old hag, but he felt like he needed to be there as a sort of counterbalance. When Kreia had ripped his secrets out of him and threatened him in the Jedi Academy it had made him more protective of Vash. He would play along with Kreia's little game, but he would make sure he was there to pull Vash out when she got in over her head.

He'd been surprised by her constantly. She was much stronger than he'd expected but much more vulnerable as well. She constantly oscillated wildly between complete confidence and extreme fears of ineptitude. She treated everyone they met, including the crew, uniquely. She always seemed to know just what to say or do to gain favor with them. That is if they survived the first ten minutes. But it wasn't like she was one of those sleazy people who lied or pretended to be something they weren't to gain approval. No, she somehow always managed to really see things from the other person's point of view. Not only that, but she really was all those things that people admired her for.

She was strong. She was gorgeous. She was incredibly powerful, highly empathic, courageous, smart as a whip and she never failed to surprise him with all the things she was capable of. But at the same time, she never came across as superhuman. She always deferred to other's expertise even when she came close to or surpassed them in her own knowledge.

He had been very surprised when the first place they went after Telos was Nar Shaddaa. Even though he'd been talking about it since Peragus, he'd thought for sure she'd have wanted to go to one of the other "more civilized" planets first… particularly after the way she'd flushed when she saw the holo of Master Kavar that suggested he was likely on Onderon. He didn't know if anyone else noticed her reaction to the guy, but it had been obvious to him that she'd had a thing for him at one point. A thing that hadn't resolved itself completely during her exile… perhaps it had even grown over the years. So, needless to say, when she popped Nar Shaddaa into the hyperspace map, he was dumbfounded. He was even more amazed at how easily she had fit in there. Even knowing there was a price on her head, she had helped everyone she'd been able to. She had held her own against the most seasoned pazaak players and exchange bosses and had even had complete composure dancing for Vogga.

She had been a little reluctant to wear the costume at first, but she had quickly settled into the role of slave girl. Actually, she had seemed to really enjoy it. He had really enjoyed it as well… at first, but all those men looking at her on her way through the docks in that skimpy outfit… it had been more than he could handle. It had bothered him so much, that when they had been in the pazaak den later he had shamelessly flirted with that twi'lek pazaak whore just to try to annoy Vash as much as she had bothered him. It had worked… a little too well. She had given him the cold shoulder for the next day. It had been amusing at first, but by the time she started talking to him again, he was so grateful he'd almost hugged her. How pathetic. One day without her attention and he'd almost gone nuts.

He had been scared to death that she would find out about his past. That she would walk away and never look back. She was a Jedi. How could she not hate him for the things he had done? She had probably known (or at least known of) many of those he had killed or worse yet, turned. She knew it immediately, that's why she had asked the name of the woman who had given her life for his. But for some reason, when he'd finally told her, a tide of compassion and affection had swept over him. Rather than hating him for it, she had instead embraced him, his past, his pain. In that moment, she had understood him more than anyone one else ever had. She had willingly offered to train him right then, like she hadn't been surprised at all that he was force sensitive. She offered him forgiveness… not her forgiveness, but his own. She gave him the ability to make that woman's death mean something more than just turning a Sith torturer into a pazaak playing, juma swilling smart ass.

The months that had passed since she had begun training him to be a Jedi had been really enlightening. He'd learned so much from her but the role of teacher and student had kept them fairly separate. Their bond had grown over time, but the playful flirting she had done before had practically stopped. He'd blamed it on Mical at first. That snot nosed little suck up had really pissed him off with that stupid bow and his obsequious words. He couldn't believe it when Vashti had agreed for him to tag along. It had infuriated him when she started training him to become a Jedi as well. The only good thing about it was that it put him in the same position he was, her student. Of course, it had been a lot more fun when he was the only one she had been training. It hadn't been long though, before she was training Mira as well and then Bao too. He wondered sometimes if she drew force sensitives to her or if she actually caused their sensitivity to manifest itself.

It had been after she met with Kavar the second time, just before this trip, that Vashti had started treating him differently. She had insisted that he accompany her and the old bat to Onderon to help Queen Talia. He had been fuming when she and Kavar had walked off and had an intimate little chat. The man obviously admired her. He was drawn to her as they all were. But he was the one she'd had a crush on. He was the one who made her nervous. She had hugged him before they left and Atton had felt like ripping the older man's head off right then. But something weird happened when she walked back over to Atton. She stood closer to him than she normally did. She made more eye contact, she smiled more… she was flirting with him? Now?

How in the hell did it make any sense at all for her to suddenly warm up to him, after talking to Kavar? He didn't understand it, not at all. But he certainly wasn't going to complain. Even if he was just a surrogate for her feelings for the older man he knew he had to take advantage of her sudden change of demeanor and see if he couldn't make it a permanent thing. He'd done a pretty good job of it the night before he thought. But today, he wasn't quite as sure. He was torn between waiting it out and making her come to him or running out there and dragging her off to the cargo hold and _showing_ her exactly how he felt about her.

It was thoughts like that one that were going to have him going mad soon. He hoped desperately that she would seek him out shortly. He didn't know how much longer he could sit in the cockpit, pretending to play pazaak and watching the cloudy blur of hyperspace. He didn't know what he'd do if she didn't come. Worse yet, what if she didn't come and he went to her and she rejected him? He had been so confident in the middle of the night, now he was a mess - a giant jumble of hormones and fears. Why, for Force's sake, was he drawn to the one person that could really hurt him? What it is about human nature that makes them crave and fear vulnerability at the same time?

Yes, Atton was sulking. And it was as he sat in the cockpit, shuffling his side deck, mulling over his current state that he was suddenly disturbed by the large Mandalorian man settling into the seat beside him.

Atton just looked over at him and almost growled. The old man chuckled briefly and began speaking conspiratorially, "You shouldn't have to wait much longer. She'll come drag you out of here fairly soon if you keep this up." Atton narrowed his eyes questioningly. "You've got her on the run, boy! She doesn't know which way is up. And she's wanting _you_ to show her." Canderous chuckled again with a sly wink. "Of course, it's too soon for that. You need to make her really sorry she ditched you. Give her the cold shoulder for a while after she comes to see you."

"You don't think she'd just get pissed off and go away?" Atton asked.

"Oh, she'll get pissed off all right. But, as you saw this morning, that's a good thing!" He let out another throaty chuckle, "Have to love fiery Jedi women, don't you? I once got Bastila so angry with me that she put me in stasis and… well…" the old man's grin widened considerably at the memory, "let's just say that as soon as my job is done here I am jumping the first freighter for home, taking my woman straight to bed and not coming out for at least a week."

Atton blanched, not entirely comfortable with hearing about the large man's love life, as Canderous stood and ambled back down the hallway to the commons. The younger man shook his head, wondering what in the world had brought on that little visit.

* * *

After lunch, Vashti had wandered to the garage to tinker with her light sabers. It was relaxing work, and she needed something to take her mind off the negative bundle of energy that was assaulting her from the cockpit. She knew he was trying to block her from feeling his emotions, but there wasn't any way he could block all of it. She wasn't ready to go deal with him again yet. She didn't know if she was afraid of him or if she just enjoyed the idea of him sulking over her. Regardless, she wasn't ready to deal with his emotions right now. Hers were confusing enough. 

As if the roller coaster of emotions she had been riding for the last 24 hours weren't enough, she was now beginning to feel guilty! Atton was angry with her, and really, she deserved it. She should have gone back in there. She knew it, but the idea of everyone on the ship snickering at them their imaginations going wild about what might be happening behind the locked cargo hold door really bothered her. She was an intensely private person. Sure, she enjoyed making a spectacle of herself occasionally, like with the pazaak game all those years ago, or the time during her exile she had worked as a dancer in some cantina somewhere past the outer rim, or, more recently, dancing for Vogga… well ok, she hadn't actually enjoyed dancing for the hideous hutt, but she had thoroughly enjoyed the walk to and from the docks and all the stares she had received from random passersby. She had really enjoyed how each stare had made Atton fume. She certainly enjoyed getting a rise out of him. But the truth was that she enjoyed being on display when _she_ chose to be, not when it was thrust upon her. This ship was just too damn small for this sort of thing.

Too bad she hadn't thought of that last night. She'd liked to have blamed it on the Juma, but she knew better. Alcoholic beverages never made her do anything she didn't want to do in the first place. So she had wanted to be close to him – for him to pull her close and hold her. She wanted it now as well. Her body ached for his embrace – to feel his body pressed against hers… she wondered how much longer they were going to be stuck on this ship. She didn't know if she could wait that long. Heck, she probably couldn't wait till Dantooine.

"General?" the quiet voice interrupted her introspection and she smiled at her old friend and acknowledged his question. "What are you doing back here?" He asked her. "You've not got much time left before Dantooine and who knows how many chances you'll get to set things right after that. Go to him. Work things out. There is no need for all this turmoil. You two are clearly crazy about each other."

Vashti blinked. Bao always had a way of simplifying things. She supposed that was why he was so good at fixing things. He was always able to look past all the extra circuits and switches and see the real problem and devise a simple straightforward solution. _Too bad we're not machines, Bao would have us worked out in no time._ She smiled at him, "It's not quite that easy. This ship is too small. We need to get away."

"So go lock yourselves in the cargo hold for the next day," he suggested. She blushed.

"I can't stand the thought of everyone snickering and speculating about what might be going on if we were to do that." She responded with a frown. "Ugh, it's just creepy thinking about it."

"Then don't think about it, General. We would all disappear if we could if it meant you could have a few moments of self indulgence."

"Jedi aren't supposed to be self indulgent." She spoke quietly, as if this was the first time she had considered that she was breaking the code by feeling these things.

"Everyone should be self indulgent sometimes, General. You can't expect any machine to run without refueling itself somehow. People are the same."

"But I should be refueling from the force, not some torrid love affair." She responded.

"Perhaps, General. But I don't believe you really feel that way. The force is interconnection with life. How could bonding with another life form in that way not bring you to a greater understanding of it?" He patted her briefly on the shoulder and then left her with her thoughts again.

Why had she even argued that with him? It wasn't like she really felt she was doing anything wrong. Many of the rules of the Jedi were just ancient guidelines for living that some overbearing windbag had decided to make mandatory. How many good and decent Jedi had the order lost because they felt the call of love? And for what? To hold to some misguided ideal?

Talking with Kavar had blown away any of the remaining hesitations she'd had. It was sort of sad to see him so much older and lonelier than ever. At least when he had been around other Jedi there was always a certain level of intimacy. You were surrounded by men and women who could sense your moods and anticipate your actions. You were never alone. It had been enough for Kavar. He loved everyone in the temple. A true, pure love, that could only come from the force, but it had been love. Vashti saw what he had become. She saw the hurt etched in his face from every death of his brethren. He had loved them all and he bore the pain of losing them. While he had told her of his pain when his padawan had left to follow Revan, Vashti realized that some people were drawn to relationships with others. They wouldn't not form just because of some code or just because you abstained from the physical side of things. The Jedi teachings said that personal relationships brought forth dangerous emotions. But the truth was, for people like her and Kavar the lack of intimacy was just as dangerous if not more. Disconnecting yourself from those around you made you not care when you hurt them. It made you seek out only your own gratification. Those were the emotions that led to the dark side. She wondered what Kavar could have had if he had allowed himself to love one person totally and completely. What had he missed by pretending to follow a code he'd already broken? As she had walked away from Kavar and towards Atton she had decided that she wasn't going to restrict her own affections any longer. She suddenly felt truly free.

* * *

T3 rolled into the cockpit and chirped happily at Atton. The man growled, "I'm not in the mood, get out of here." T3 warbled a question, "No, I don't want you to take over, I'm fine. GO AWAY." The little droid didn't leave, but rather sat there for a moment whirring quietly. 

After a moment it started chirping again, this time it was a long series of chirps and warbles and as it went on Atton's jaw dropped. He didn't catch everything it was saying, but he was pretty sure he heard, "master… go… coupling… happy… now… before too late…?" The DROID was giving him advice on his love life now?

Atton stood up and glared down at T3. He pulled his blaster off his belt and fiddled with the settings for a moment. T3 whirred nervously and as Atton aimed his blaster at the little droid, it turned quickly and began wheeling itself down the hall. Not fast enough though, Atton pulled the trigger and hit it twice on its backside while retreating. Nothing to hurt it, but maybe it would leave him alone now.

He slumped back in his chair and braced himself for the chiding that was sure to come next as he heard the calm footsteps of the zabrak in the hallway.

"What?" Atton asked defensively as Bao entered the cockpit.

"Did you really just shoot at T3?" the zabrak asked as he settled into the co-pilot's chair.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Well, if he offered to take over the flying duties for you, you probably should have taken it, rather than shooting him."

"That's not what I shot him for," Atton replied grumpily, "I asked him to leave, but he didn't and then… well… then I shot him."

"Atton, you need to get out of here. You need to go try to fix things with her, before it's too late."

Atton spoke through a clenched jaw, "I'm not going anywhere. If she wants things fixed she's going to have to come find me. Not like she doesn't know where I am."

"The General is a complicated woman, she is scared now, for whatever reason, and she needs you to help her forget her fears." Bao stood and walked out quietly.

* * *

Vashti was still at the workbench, fiddling with random parts when Mical found her. "Vashti…" he began hesitantly. She closed her eyes a moment and then turned to him with a forced smile. He continued, "I believe that you need to resolve the issue that is weighing on your heart." He paused, trying to judge her demeanor. "You two clearly need to work things out… get it over with. The tension is driving the rest of the crew nuts." 

"Oh really?" She snapped at him. "So I'm just supposed to go in there and talk to him so that you and the rest of you can feel better, even though you guys are the ones who interrupted it all in the first place?"

"Um, well…" he stammered.

"HK, what do YOU think I should do about my current predicament? I haven't heard from you yet!" She snapped at the droid who was quietly standing in the corner of the garage.

"Statement: Master, I cannot understand your attraction to the meatbag Rand. But you clearly favor him and wish to make him your plaything." Vashti turned bright red. "Conclusion: Since you have already decided your eventual course of action, I cannot see what purpose these delays serve."

"It's that obvious, eh?" Vashti said more to herself than anyone else. "OK, fine, you guys win. I'll get on with it, but I'm going to need your help." She glanced at Mical, Bao and HK and received nods from each of them.

"What do you need us to do, General?"

* * *

Atton flinched as he heard yet another set of footsteps heading his direction. Mical, yech. He scowled and refused to look at the younger man as he settled into the seat beside him. "You're smart to stay holed up here. You know you don't have anything to offer her. You're only protecting her from getting hurt by you." 

"You think you can offer her more?" Atton asked incredulously.

"Well, yes, but that's not my point," he hesitated as he shot Atton a look and noticed the older man's disposition sour visibly. "She is at a very vulnerable place right now. Her hormones are confusing her and she has foolishly interpreted her natural physical cravings as more than what they are."

Atton's face scrunched up in confusion, "So you're saying she's just attracted to me because she's horny?"

"Well, it's slightly more complicated than that, but yes." Mical mulled it over a minute, "If you weren't her pupil, I would probably encourage you to go ahead and let her… express… these desires with you, especially considering your past history with women."

"Hey! What do you know of my 'past history'?" Atton raised his voice considerably.

"Oh, well, perhaps I assume too much. It would just seem obvious to me that anyone with your general demeanor has to have had considerable experience with women of all sorts. Most of those experiences being very short lived."

The older man frowned. "So you're saying that if she wasn't training me, you'd want me to seduce her so she could get it out of her system?"

"Precisely," Mical replied with a smile.

"But since I am her student…?"

"Well, that complicates things. It would be practically impossible for her to not feel guilty afterward and rather than it just being a physical release, it would get emotionally messy. She would confuse the bond between master and padawan and the physical expression and would likely foolishly begin to think she loved you or something ridiculous like that."

"Yeah, cause that's so ridiculous. She couldn't possibly love someone like me." Atton said sarcastically.

"Well, it would be foolish of her to love you, when you're likely to scurry off after you've used her for your own selfish indulgences."

"Why you… " Atton began angrily.

"Atton, I didn't mean to offend. I was only commenting on how wise you were being to distance yourself from her now. How unselfish you were being, letting her find another way to work through her physical conflicts."

"Another way?" Atton asked sharply, "What do you mean another way?"

Mical just smiled smugly to himself as he stood and walked out of the cockpit. "Oh, you don't need to concern yourself with that. You just make sure you stay out of her way so she doesn't get confused again."

Atton fumed. What the hell was that about? If that simpering child thought that he was going to do anything with Vashti… He would have something to say about that. He couldn't restrain his curiosity any longer and making sure no one was coming he ducked into the security room and started checking cameras.

Mical was headed towards the garage, where apparently Vashti was working at the workbench. He walked in behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Pulling her away from her work, he hugged her. She hugged him back and Atton's eyes narrowed at the screen. She was leaning into that hug way too much for it to be just a friendly thing. Mical whispered to her and then took her by the hand and began to lead her out of the garage. Atton began flipping through the different cameras trying to discern where he was leading her, but he didn't see them on any of them. After a moment he realized, he'd taken her to the cargo hold. Atton's knuckles whitened as he gripped the console. She wasn't interested in him, right? Hadn't she just told him last night that she thought of him as a little brother? Of course, she had been practically dripping with desire while meditating with him this morning. Sith spit.

Atton stormed down the hallway towards the common area, intending to go to the cargo hold and give Mical a piece of his mind, but the hallway was blocked by homicidal droid with a very large shock arm.

"Let me by, HK." Atton growled.

"Statement: The master thought you might decide to interfere, so she suggested I use any means necessary to keep you on this end of the ship." HK's red eyes flashed violently.

"Damn it, HK. I am NOT in the mood!" He was yelling now, and Bao stuck his head out of the garage to see what was going on.

"Is there a problem?" the zabrak asked quietly.

"Will you get this damned metallic freak out of my way?" Atton yelled angrily.

"Statement: I must follow the master's orders. She requested that I detain you here. You will not pass until she has given instruction otherwise."

Atton glowered a moment and then grinned maniacally as he raised his hand, using his destroy droid technique quickly followed by a force wave to get the heap of junk out of his way.

"Atton, you can't go in there," Bao said walking over to the now deactivated droid. "You won't like what you find. I told you that you needed to work it out before it was too late." Atton hesitated momentarily, suddenly a little frightened of what he might find.

The Mandalorian piped up from where he was standing, "Are you going to let her go that easily, fool? Aren't you going to fight for your woman?"

Mira glanced over her shoulder from where she was sitting on the sofa at him. "You'd probably be better off staying away right now. She's in _quite_ the mood…"

Atton looked from Canderous to Mira and over to Bao as he mulled over what they had said. It only took him a moment, however, to make up his mind and he stormed off towards the cargo hold. He didn't see the collective grins on his companion's faces as he turned the corner in the hallway.

Atton was almost running now, too scared of what he might find to slow down, for fear he wouldn't have the courage to keep going. As he tore around the corner he noticed T3 sitting just outside the cargo hold door. The little droid warbled at him mournfully as he pushed his way past the droid and into the cargo hold, stopping just inside the door. Confusion crept over him as he saw only Vashti sitting on the floor apparently meditating. He began to look around and had the faint impression of someone behind him, by the door. He turned just in time to see Mical duck out the door behind him, activating the door control with a grin as the door closed.

Atton bewilderedly shook his head as he heard the little droid chirping happily in the hall, the sounds of his security arm activating the locks on the door. "What the hell?" he said aloud. Still trying to decipher all that had happened.

"Hello, flyboy," Vashti purred from her spot on the floor, "it sure took you long enough to get here."


	9. Alone at Last

A/N: In my hurry to post the last chapter before running out the door I forgot to say thanks for all the really nice reviews. Fortunately, I chose to completely avoid doing anything actually productive today so that I could hurry up and write this chapter. So I can make up for it by posting my replies here. I'm planning on writing one more chapter, as sort of an epilogue to the game. And then hopefully, I'll be able to step away from my keyboard and get back to the rest of my life.

Kuramas Girl Angel, Nina Rand, gekkeiju, Aeryn and Rachil Fayrchild - Thank you all for the kind notes and the encouragement. It's due to comments like yours that I kept going... So you can only blame yourselves!

SilverShadow: I was really touched by your last review, especially since the whole reason I wound up here, writing this junk is that I followed a link off a kotor message board to Atton's Redemption a few months ago. So again, you only have yourself to blame! I'm glad you liked my silly fighting scene. It's good to know that the strange looks I got from my kids while swinging their toy lightsabers around trying to work out the battle sequences were worth it.

Revan's Pet Duck: I'm glad I could inspire you to random weirdness. Weirdness is what I live for.

LuvsDelkoSpeed: I'm flattered :D But if this is the best story you've read so far, you've got a lot more reading to do!

Trillian: I was very pleased to read that you like my characterization of Atton. I always feel like I get him wrong somehow... or maybe not enough. I'm not sure. As far as poor Disciple goes... I feel much the same way you do, and have considered writing a little romance between him and Mira just for kicks. But then I start to feel sorry for the poor girl... It's not that I don't like Mical, I (and my character) like him quite well,we just find him boring as all heck. The only good thing about him in game is that when you're wandering around the ship, trying to get your crewmates to talk to you, he's the only guy who really will. Of course, he says the same stuff over and over and over again... but the "you're an impressive specimen" line is way better than the "Never mind." you get with Bao, or the "Wanna play pazaak?" you get with Atton. Of course, the accent is irritating and he's just so... boring. I'd love to see someone bring some life to him, so if you're up to the challenge, go for it!

And now, for the main event...

* * *

**Alone at Last**

Atton turned slowly toward Vashti, his jaw clenched almost angrily. Once he'd realized what she'd just done to him, he was slammed with two very conflicting emotions. Anger, that she hadn't just come in and talked to him, and elation that she had gone through all that trouble just to get him locked in here with her. But, he also remembered Canderous' words earlier in the day. Make her pay. Don't let her get away with ditching you.

"What? Done with your boy toy and want to play with a real man now?" Atton began with a snarl, pushing more anger into his voice than he really felt.

Vashti regarded him amusedly. "Something like that," she said with a chuckle.

Atton frowned, "You know, if you really wanted to spend time with me this badly, you could have just asked."

She smirked, "Yeah, I know. But what would be the fun in that? Besides, I think you're way more interesting when you're angry."

He glowered down at her. She was still sitting cross legged on the floor and she wore her simple tunic and pants that she generally wore under robes. She was barefoot, and her long brown braids hung in front of her shoulders rather than coiled around her head in their usual fashion. Her vivid blue eyes sparkled with warmth. _Damn she's gorgeous._ He frowned more as a grin flickered across her face, clearly indicating that she had heard that.

"Damn it, woman, what the hell do you want from me? I am sick and tired of being played for a fool." He paced across the floor now.

She shrugged. "I just wanted to stop being hounded by the rest of the crew. Locking us in here together was Bao's idea. I just played along."

"Well, babe, don't stick around on my account. I'm sure you've got more important things to do than spend time with me." He snapped.

"Well, while I might actually want to take you up on that considering your foul mood, no can do, flyboy. They've locked us in and they're not going to unlock the door until we're approaching Dantooine. There's no way to unlock the doors from the inside. So unless you're so unwilling to stay with me that you'd rather take your lightsaber to the door, I'd suggest you have a seat. It's going to be a long day with you pacing constantly."

Atton tapped his lightsaber restlessly and eyed the door. Part of him wanted to do whatever he had to do to escape. Not because he didn't want to be here with her, but because he hated being out of control.

"I don't think Bao would appreciate me leaving another mess for him to fix. So, I guess we'd better try to work things out then," he said grumpily as he began to really contemplate his surroundings, "couldn't you at least have brought in a chair or two?"

Vashti chuckled and stood and stretched. "Nope, no chairs sorry," she said as she began digging through one of the nearby containers. She pulled out several thick blankets and stacked them on the floor close to one wall. Then she pulled out a container of juma, a couple of glasses and a small box with all sorts of food sticking out of it. She smiled at him alluringly as she set the foodstuffs in the center of the blanket and sat on the edge of it, her back against the wall. She took one of the glasses and filled it with Juma and smiled as she took a long sip, the fruity warmth searing her throat. "You're welcome to share some of my supplies… since you didn't think to bring any for yourself." She grinned up at him.

"Well, no one told me there was going to be a picnic in the cargo hold, or I would have brought my hoverball." He said still sounding grumpy as he settled himself down on the blanket on the other side of the box. He leaned back against the wall after filling his own glass with juma. "Thirty-six hours till we come out of hyperspace at Dantooine… are they really not going to let us out till then?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I think so. I hope you brought your pazaak deck. Otherwise this could get really boring," she shot him a glance and saw an amused grin as he glanced over at her.

"Damn it, I left my deck in the cockpit. I guess we'll just have to sit here and stare at the walls instead…" after a moment of theatrically staring at the wall across from them, he said, "wow, it's really dark and grey in here.." They sat there drinking quietly for a few minutes in companionable silence. After a bit he reached over and took her hand into his. He stroked her palm lightly with his fingertips, "I guess Bao was wrong…" he said quietly, "he told me I wouldn't like what I'd find in here…"

She grinned, "yeah, you never could resist a nice glass of juma."

"Hey, I…" he started to protest, but then realized she was teasing him. "Hmph. I'm not sure we have enough juma to keep me happily locked in this room for 36 hours."

"Well, I think I have something that could help you sleep, if you get too bored."

A grin swept across his face, "I just bet you do…" he said lewdly.

She blanched. "That's NOT what I meant!" He snorted. "Ugh, you are infuriating! How is it you can turn _everything_ I say into an innuendo?"

"Babe, the things you say don't need to be turned into anything. You're the one making the innuendos. I'm just pointing them out."

She stammered, "No way, flyboy, you twist things all by yourself, all I meant was that there are some sleeping pills over in one of those bins…"

"Riiight, so you didn't mean to suggest at all that you might enjoy helping me get to sleep…"

"I didn't _mean_ to, no." She answered him grumpily.

"Ah, but you're not denying you would like to," he grinned at her as she blushed. She was so damn cute when she got flustered. "Mical said you were just interested in me because you're horny." Her eyes got big and her face reddened even more. "I thought about it a lot, wondering if you really did view me as just another piece of meat. An itch that needed to be scratched… If I did pursue you, would it just wind up being some torrid night of passion, gratifying each other physically over and over but going our separate ways in the morning?"

"Atton, it's not…"

"But then I realized…" He interrupted her with a grin, "I can live with that…"

Her eyes widened even more as she involuntarily smacked him on the shoulder. "Of all the…" she started angrily, but he interrupted her again.

"You didn't let me finish, princess," he said with a grin as he leaned over towards her, bringing his face close to hers, placing a finger on her lips. "When it comes to getting to be with you, I'll take anything I can get. If it's just flying your ship, I'm there. Need me to help you save the galaxy, you got it. Any affection you want to show me, I'll take gratefully, even if I am just getting Kavar's table scraps."

"What?" Vashti yelled in spite of the finger pressed against her lips. "Kavar's _table scraps_? Are you suggesting that Kavar's already gotten the best of me?" She was incredulous. How could he even believe anything remotely close to that?

"Oh, come on, babe." He rocked back away from her and slumped against the wall, "You know as well as I do you had (have) a serious thing for him. Your feelings for him are strong and he unlocked something in you the other day… something that made you want to give into your passions. Even if you can't have him."

Vashti was dumbfounded. "You think I'm in love with _Kavar_? Sith spit! He's cute and all and sweet and force knows I did have a crush on him when I was a kid and yeah, I get a little starry eyed around him, but damn that doesn't mean I want him or anything!"

"You are seriously in denial, babe." Atton's expression had soured.

"No, I'm not!" She yelled at him. "If I wanted him, I damn sure wouldn't be in here with you! What kind of person do you think I am?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he snapped back at her. "Damn it woman, I was trying to… ugh, never mind." He took a long drink from his glass of juma, almost draining it. "All I know is that I saw a mutual attraction between the two of you on Onderon. But when you come back from talking to him, you're suddenly flirting with me. It sounds like transferred affections to me. You can't be with him, so you'll take whatever you can get."

"It's not like that at all, Atton," she spoke a little more quietly this time. "Kavar is very much like me and I saw the way the deaths of his friends weighed on him. And it occurred to me that refusing a physical relationship hadn't spared him from any of life's pain. So why refuse the happiness it can bring?" She looked over at him, hoping he understood what she was trying to say. "Yeah, Kavar unlocked something in me, that's true… but he unlocked the feelings for you that I'd been repressing."

The man smiled as he rubbed his chin. "Really?" He asked a chuckle coming into his voice.

"Yes, REALLY!" Vashti playfully snapped back at him. "But what were you trying to say _before_ you referred to me as table scraps."

"Nooooo, babe, that's not what I meant…" he sighed. "Anyhow… what I was trying to say… is that I'm here. To be used by you, in whatever capacity you desire. And if you want to space me tomorrow, well, at least I'll die having spent my last day being close to you."

"Force, Atton, that's really sappy." She said with mock scorn.

"I know!" Atton agreed heartily. "Don't think I enjoy being this pitiful, because believe me… I don't."

She grinned. "I actually think it's pretty cute. It kind of reminds me of how you were begging me to let you out of the force cage on Peragus. There's that hint of desperation… that fear in your eyes that I'll just leave you there…"

"The complete bewilderment at being face to face with a jedi goddess in her underwear." Atton added dryly.

Vashti snickered. "You always go back to that, don't you?"

"Hey, that's one first impression I don't ever want to forget. Mmmmmm."

"That was one of the images I saw in your head last night," she added thoughtfully. "You'd changed it up a little though. All your images of me in your head are embellished… it's kind of scary. You don't remember my flaws."

"What would be the fun in fantasizing about your flaws?" He asked, honestly a little perplexed at her issue with it.

"They're a part of me… and one day, you won't be able to overlook them so easily. It's better to embrace them now…"

"Hey, I know you're not perfect. But, can I help it if I prefer remembering you in a black bikini instead of that weird jumpsuit?"

Vashti giggled. "I'm going to have to find myself a black bikini then," she said as she drained her glass of juma. "You know, it's kind of surprising with all the looting we've done in the last few months we didn't come across at least one bikini."

"Yeah, I'm surprised they're not standard issue for those Sith assassins." He added with a chuckle as he refilled both their glasses.

Vashti pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. "Atton," she said after a long moment of contemplative silence. "Can you show me an image of that woman? Let me see one of your memories of her?"

Atton shifted uncomfortably against the wall. "I'd rather not think about it." He said with a frown.

"But you do think about her… a lot, don't you?" Vashti looked over at him. "You don't have to if you don't want… but I would like to know who I should be thankful to for helping you get to me."

He nodded slowly, reaching out and taking Vashti's hand. "Just an image though, I don't want to think about those things right now." He closed his eyes and waited till he felt her presence. _You have to help pull me out if I get sucked into the memory. _He instructed her.

_I'm right here… go ahead, I just want an image. _Suddenly an image of a black haired woman leapt into Vashti's mind. The woman's eyes were dark and scared and yet there was compassion there as well, love.

"Atton," she spoke aloud wanting to draw him out of the memory. "I saw her, thank you."

Atton nodded, a little pale. "You did know her, didn't you?"

Vashti nodded almost imperceptibly. "Yeah, she was a few years ahead of me at the academy. Tanvi Leir. I didn't really know her, but she was a good woman. She had a strong propensity for visions." Vashti stopped for a moment taking a long drink, "She probably wasn't lying when she said she came to find you. She had probably seen you in her meditations and likely saw her death…"

Atton gripped her hand tightly, "I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… I…"

"Ssshhhhh, there's no need to apologize, she thought your life worth saving, or she wouldn't have been there."

"I shouldn't have been there, I shouldn't have followed them…" he added his voice sounding scratchy.

"We all have our regrets. Everyone does. But in the end, the force has its will and it will be done."

"You really believe that?" Atton scoffed.

"Yeah, I do. I don't understand it… but maybe one day…"

They sat there, their fingers intertwined and their thoughts heavy. Vashti began to grow sorry that she had ruined the good mood. "It's the pain that has enabled us to fight now. The Sith teach to embrace the pain and let it fuel your anger. But I believe real pain causes us to temper our decisions. Helps us make good choices. It is because of the heaviness of our hearts that we can stand up to these Sith. Because we know the weight of the guilt of making the wrong choice."

"Yeah, but if we fell, we could pretend it wasn't the wrong choice and not feel guilty."

"Then why did you leave them?"

He smiled grimly, "because I couldn't stop the guilt or the pain. I didn't want them to stop either. As long as I hurt, I knew I was still alive."

She nodded and raised his fingers to her mouth, pressing her lips against them gently. She gazed at his hand then, admiring its masculinity. "Where'd you get this scar?" she asked as she traced the line from his knuckles down past his wrist.

"A knife in a bar fight when I was 19." He said with a chuckle.

"Ouch." She showed him a similar spot on her elbow. "I've got one of those too… from my exile. That was one of the worst things about not having the force. The scarring with just kolto is horrible."

He nodded and leaned forward, pulling his hair apart just behind the right side of his forehead exposing a deep gash, long healed. "Crash landing during the Mandalorian war."

"So you've always crashed a lot, have you?" She asked teasingly.

"Only when I'm being shot at, but hey, most people die when they get shot at… I just crash." He shrugged.

She turned away from him and showed him a nasty gash on the back of her neck. "I got that when I was learning how to fly a speeder. I crashed and burned big time…"

He grinned, "So then it's a good thing we don't let you fly this thing?"

"Oh yeah. Too many buttons for me. I panic. Forget where the brake is…"

"You're joking?" He asked her, laughing.

"I wish I was," she replied grimly. "Why do you think I never gave you the option to leave? No way was I going to be flying this thing anywhere."

"Hmph. And here it was I was thinking it was because you couldn't get your mind off my manly good looks."

"Well, they definitely played a factor." She shot him a playful grin.

"But wait, didn't you fly your own ship during your exile?"

"Yeah, I did. But that doesn't mean I'm any good at it."

"Wow, something you're actually not good at… I'm shocked." He teased. "Is there anything else that you're not any good at?"

"Home decorating." She said, quite seriously. "It always bothered me that all the girls I knew always had their rooms at the academy all coordinated… pictures, stuff…it was weird. I tried once… but it was really sad."

Atton laughed, "How so?"

"Well… I don't know… it just never seemed to work when I did it… A friend came over once and spruced my room up… but it didn't take long before the datapads and gadgets were covering all the surfaces again." She shrugged.

He snickered, "Ok, anything else you'd like to confess to being bad at?"

"I can't fix hair for the life of me." She waved a braid at him. "This is it. Two braids, wrap them, pin them. That's all you get."

He reached over, taking the braid she was waving at him and ran his fingers over it lightly. "I like your hair," he said absentmindedly as he ran his fingers to the end, pulling the band off. He slowly unraveled her braid, his fingers pulling through the strands. "It's still damp."

She nodded, "Yeah, it was still pretty wet when I braided it this morning. It takes days to dry sometimes when it's been braided. I don't think it dried the entire time we were on Dxun." He smiled and moved closer to her so he could unravel her other braid. She laid her head on her knees as he combed through her hair with his fingers. "This is why twi'leks will never really do it for me…" he said his voice just above a whisper.

She grinned, "I can't stand the stuff. Half the time I think I should just chop it all off go for something shorter, less heavy. But, I never do. I don't have to think about it this way."

"Good." She let him play with her hair for a while. She had always loved having her hair played with. It had been a very long time since anyone had though. She sighed contentedly just as her stomach rumbled loudly.

She sat up, and patted her stomach. "Are you as hungry as I am?" She asked him as she began pulling some food out of the nearby box.

He was quiet and she paused her rummaging for a moment and looked at him. His gaze made her look away fast. "Yeah, I'm very hungry." He said quietly as he tucked her hair behind her ear. She jumped as his fingers grazed her ear and then her neck. Her heart raced. She shifted nervously away from him, reaching to the far side of the box to try to find some imaginary item.

He grinned, "Why so nervous, Vash?" he asked, as his fingertips ran down her arm.

"I.. uh…" she stammered, "Well, it's been a long time…" she frowned grimly.

"It's been a long time for me too. But why the frown?"

"I just feel so…" she paused, trying to find the right word and he frowned back at her, "vulnerable."

"I'm not going to hurt you, Vash." He started, confused by her sudden discomfort.

"No, it's not that… it's very hard to explain." She hesitated a moment, playing nervously with her hands. "I've never really done this before." He looked very confused suddenly. "No… I don't mean I've never done that… it's just that it was very different then… I was different then."

"Without the force, you mean?" he asked her, trying to understand.

"Sort of, but not exactly. I like you…" she looked at him hesitantly, his eyes sparkled with amusement. "Damn it, you're trying to make me nervous now, aren't you?"

He grinned and pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her waist her back pressed against his chest, "I like you, too." He whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear. She tried to bolt, but he kept her there with his arm and began kissing her neck gently as his other hand ran gently from her throat to her collarbone and down her arm. She sighed loudly, relaxing into his grip significantly. "There, now why don't you try explaining that to me again," he murmured between hot kisses.

"Ummmm… can't think…" she muttered back to him.

"Good, even better." He kissed her collarbone then, and then her jaw line. She turned her head over her shoulder towards him. Their eyes met for a brief moment before he kissed her, gently, sweetly, but hungrily. Her whole body answered his kiss. Her pulse raced, and she couldn't keep from pressing against him. He broke the kiss and gazed at her for a moment. Her eyes fluttered open and she met his gaze. He smiled at her and slid his hand up from her waist inside her tunic as he kissed her again.

They went on like that, slowly trading kisses as clothing was shed. They explored each other hungrily and as their bodies intertwined their minds became interwoven as well. They found solace in each other's arms and for one brief moment all the pain that hung on them - the death that weighed down their souls - vanished in the sheer bliss of their intimacy.

They awoke early the next morning, their bodies still intertwined. He nuzzled her hair affectionately as she sighed into his chest. "You're right," he whispered quietly, "This is the best kind of serenity." She giggled and nodded.

"When did I say that?" She asked still sleepy.

"Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd round." He nibbled her neck affectionately.

"Hrmmm… I don't remember… it's all just a blur. A really, really incredible blur…" she murmured into his chest.

"Just ask and I'll be happy to show you again what you missed."

"Mmmm, I'll take you up on that… after breakfast." She sat up and grimaced. "Damn it, I have to use the 'fresher…"

He chuckled, "Plastisteel cylinder?" he suggested.

"Ew, no…" she closed her eyes and concentrated a moment. "Good everyone's still asleep." She began sorting through the pile of clothes strewn about the floor and threw Atton's at him. "Get dressed," she instructed him as she pulled her clothes on. He did as she asked, and as she dug through the nearby box he pulled his pazaak deck out of his pocket absentmindedly and began shuffling.

She pulled a small device out of the box and glared down at him. "I thought you said you didn't have your deck?"

He grinned up at her with a triumphant smirk, "yeah… well, I lied."

She shook her head, clucking her tongue lightly against her teeth in disbelief. "What, _you_ didn't want to play pazaak… for once?"

"Hey, I just figured there were better ways to pass the time." As he grinned up at her, she raised the small device she had found in the box, pressed a button and the door hissed open. "Hey! You said there wasn't any way to unlock the door from in here!"

She grinned down at him, "yeah, well… I lied." She couldn't help but gloat as she scurried out the door towards the fresher calling back to him, "hurry back, you don't want anyone to figure out we're not really locked in."

A few minutes later, they met back up in the cargo hold and Vashti used her device to reseal the door. "So, why are you locking us back in?"

"Pfffttt, I'm locking them _out_, you nerf herder."

"Nerf herder?" He asked incredulously, "Wow, that's quite the tongue you have on you, young lady."

Her eyes flashed with amusement, "I'll show you everything it can do after breakfast."


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Vashti ran towards the lowered ramp of the _Ebon Hawk_ as the Trayus Core crumbled around her along with the rest of Malachor V. She looked back one last time at the crumpled form now half covered by debris and quickly squeezed her eyes closed to stop the coming onslaught of tears. Regardless of whatever else Kreia had been, she had been a mentor, a friend, a teacher and Vashti had loved her. As she entered the ship she allowed the tears to fall freely. She grieved for the woman. Not for her death, but for her life. For the bitterness that had sprung from those who had betrayed her. Long ago she had been betrayed by the Jedi order. She had tried to teach her pupils to think beyond the Jedi code, she had not delineated between light and dark as vehemently as the council did. And she had been exiled for it, the force stripped from her. She went to the Sith then, and they too, had betrayed her in a battle for power. Her bitterness against both the Sith and the Jedi had overwhelmed her and in Vashti she had sought her revenge.

The wound, the echo, Vashti knew now that what she had been hearing all this time emanated from her. If the council was to be believed, the echo was an absence of the force. An absence that allowed her to feed on other force sensitives. But that didn't make sense to her. She didn't feed on those around her like Darth Nihlus did. She drew on their strength, yes, but in doing so, she strengthened them as well. The masters also had told her that she had grown powerful because of the deaths she had caused, but Vashti wanted to believe that it had been because of the wrongs she had righted.

Mical reached out his hand to help her as she staggered onto the ship. She took it exhaustedly, glad for the help to make it to the top of the ramp, and allowed him to direct her to the small sofa as the ship listed dramatically against the oscillating gravitational forces of the planet. Mical ran toward the cockpit, yelling that they could go and she braced herself as the Hawk accelerated forcibly away from the crumbling planet. As the gravitational forces pulled on her body, the tears fell even more freely. Malachor V was dying once and for all. The pain of all the deaths of all those years ago flowed over her again mixed with the fresher grief she felt for Kreia, Kavar and even Sion.

The ship steadied once out of the grip of Malachor and Vashti felt Mira's arms wrap around her from behind. The younger woman leaned her head against Vashti's in an understanding embrace. Her tears really fell then, coming out in long uncontrollable sobs. Mira let her cry for a minute or two and as the sobs lessened she spoke quietly, "I think we still have some of Visas' chocolate… do you want me to get some for you?"

Vashti chuckled, between sobs and nodded. As her friend went to find the treat, she wiped her eyes worked to regain some of her composure. Mira returned a moment later with the box of Corellian chocolates and several handkerchiefs. The older woman nodded gratefully, wondering how Mira always knew just what to do to make her feel better.

As if to answer the question, Mira sat beside her and said, "A simple rule to remember in life… whenever you are going anywhere that there might be any emotional distress, take chocolate."

"It is good for the soul." Visas said with a nod as she joined the other two women on the sofa sitting on the other side of Vashti and both Visas and Mira wrapped their arms around their leader. The sobs came again, not as violently as they had before, but more therapeutically.

"General," Bao's soft voice called from the hallway by the medical bay. "The hyperdrive is badly damaged, but I believe we can make it back to Telos for repairs."

"Thank you, Bao," Vashti's voice choked for a moment, "for everything." He nodded and turned away, the absence of his remote was felt strongly by all in the room.

"At least G0T0 seems to have disappeared," Mira noted, "Thank the force, that droid seriously gave me the creeps." Vashti half chuckled and held onto the arms that were still wrapped around her.

_Telos, _Vashti said to Atton over their bond without explanation. He answered back, _And pray the hyperdrive holds._ She smiled slightly, glad to feel his presence so strongly again. It had been dampened while she was on Malachor, all of her bonds had. She hadn't been sure if it was the place, or if something had happened to them. She had feared the worst, until Kreia began to tell her of their futures.

The ship jumped to hyperspace and a few minutes later Atton walked into the commons, raising an eyebrow at the still huddled women, he shot Mical a look. The younger man just shrugged in return and shifted awkwardly in silence.

"Mira, where's that camera of yours? We need to get this on disk!" Atton asked enthusiastically trying to lighten the mood, "We could make a fortune selling it on the adult holovid market… What do you think, Mic? _Jedi Babes of the Ebon Hawk_?"

Mical blushed, but grinned as the girls all shot Atton stares that were mixes between amusement and scorn. Atton grinned a particularly charming grin as Vashti tried to smile at him, but his heart ached as he saw the grief overflowing in her eyes. "Seriously, I'd be happy to give some direction if you girls are interested in exploring your, ah… wilder sides…" The three girls simultaneously made small noises of contempt and force smacked him on the shoulder. They all broke into giggles as he grimaced and flinched from their telepathic abuse. He grinned again, "Owwww, you girls are cruel… there definitely needs to be a scene of the three of you using the force to punish some poor fool who fell into their clutches."

While her tears still fell, Vashti snorted, she began laughing so hard. "I suppose you volunteer for that role?" she questioned him between her discordant bursts of emotion.

"Well, you know me, anything for art," he raised his eyebrows at her and smirked.

She shook her head at him, "ugh, you… are hopeless." She grinned as she said it though, letting him know she didn't mind it a bit. "I need to go meditate on some things Kreia told me before she died, and then I'll tell you all everything that happened down there." She hugged each of the women beside her gratefully before standing. She then walked over to Mical and gave him a similar thankful embrace. Atton coughed loudly and she shot him a look as she leaned into her hug with the younger man a bit more, enjoying Atton's scowl. She broke the hug and then made her way for the port dorm, grabbing Atton's hand and dragging him along with her as she walked. He shot Mical a triumphant smirk as they turned the corner.

She settled onto her bunk, pulling him down next to her, and stared at the empty place on the floor where the older woman had usually meditated. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek gently. He didn't understand her love for the old witch, but he could certainly not blame her for caring, it was what she did.

"She said a lot of things… things I have to sort out." She flicked her gaze up to his face, and then wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

He cringed at the fervency of her embrace; it felt way too much like goodbye. He kissed her forehead gently, his fear of losing her seeped out through his trembling lips. "Just... if you need anything… from me… from anyone else, let us know… we're here for you. We wouldn't be here without you." _And we're not going to let you go anywhere else alone. _He thought to himself, not bothering to shield the thought from her.

She nodded into his chest. "She said I had to go fight the true Sith… that I couldn't take anyone I loved."

"But that would mean you would go alone, and alone, you would be vulnerable," his voice almost sounded pleading.

"More or less vulnerable than if I was constantly afraid of losing you?"

He held her tightly and whispered, "I'd rather die beside you than let you fight this alone." She sobbed suddenly, a great gush of tears flowing out onto his chest.

"Sssshhhh, you need to rest," he said as he lowered her to the bunk, curling up behind her, holding her tightly.

"I need to meditate…" she said as she began to drift off to sleep, her exhaustion overtaking her. Atton wrapped her in the force then, and used their bond to coax her into a deep restful sleep. The last week they had been running non-stop, her most of all. She had defeated three Sith Lords, and before that she had witnessed the death of the remaining Jedi council, including an old friend, at the hands of her mentor.

The trip from Dantooine to Telos had been stressful for Atton to say the least. The happy carefree attitude of the crew had vanished during that short visit. Each of them felt the loss gripping at the heart of their leader through their bonds, but none felt it to the extent that Atton did. Vashti had tried to tell them what the council had said, what had happened, but her explanations had been lacking. She was trying to distance herself from them and had avoided company during the trip to Telos. The tension had been unbearable. She blamed herself for allowing Kreia to use her like she had. She replayed the scenes over and over in her head, trying to make them end differently. Atton had tried to distract her, tried to comfort her, but the self-torment overwhelmed him, and he resigned himself to watching her from nearby. She had blocked him from her thoughts at first, but as she spiraled downwards, her guards were dropped and he had seen the scenes as she relived them. The council had been firm, but surprisingly kind, in their attempt to strip her of the force. She had wanted to resist, to run away, but she had been unable to. Through her mind, he felt the stasis field and watched in horror at the reactions of the council to Kreia as she collapsed to the ground. He heard the scorn in the old woman's words; he saw the orange lightening arc over Vashti's head, draining the life from the men standing before her. He heard the old woman's admiration turn to contempt. She had been afraid.

It was confusing to be this connected to someone else. Feelings didn't come with names attached. He knew she hurt, but her hurt made him ache so badly, that it was hard to be the comfort she needed. He wondered if feeling her emotions so strongly did either of them any good. Did it lessen her pain that he felt it also? Or did the emotions feed on themselves, growing disproportionately out of control. He hurt primarily because she was hurting. She was hurting because of the loss of her friends and mentors, and the feelings of failure she was battling, but she also hurt because she knew the rest of her crew was hurting with her. Perhaps this was the echo… this continuing cacophony of pain… growing ever louder until one could not touch the force without feeling it… forcing its users to deafen themselves to it or die in its misery… perhaps this was the death of the force that the masters had spoken of.

But the ache was different now. Instead of the maddening self-doubt and fear she'd had then, the emotions that hung on her now were sadness, loss and an overwhelming grief. Before Malachor she had radiated a negative energy that pushed everyone away. But as soon as she'd stepped off Malachor and onto the gangplank of the _Hawk,_ everyone on board had felt the change in her demeanor. She was drawing on their strength and compassion. She wanted comfort now, she wanted comradery, she needed their support.

* * *

As she slowly regained consciousness she reached out with the Force to ascertain her surroundings. She was in her bunk, but she was alone now, and the _Hawk_ was thrumming with the passage through hyperspace. Her crew, her friends, were mostly in the common area, Bao was in the garage and two distinct presences were noticeably absent. Canderous had been gone since they had finished their fight over Telos. He had gone back to Dxun, Vashti imagined. Kreia was the other missing presence and hers was more than just an absence of her person, it was like there was a big hole where she should have been. Her bond with the woman had been there since she had begun to feel the force again. She didn't realize how much of what she had assumed was the force was actually the woman's presence. And now it was gone. It was a relief in some ways. There was something disturbing about that sort of intense force bond. She had bonds with the others on her ship, and many more before her exile, but even her bond with Atton, as strong as it was by most standards, was nothing compared to the former presence of the older woman in her mind. It had been constant. Vashti suddenly wondered just how much the older woman had experienced during the trip from Onderon to Dantooine. Judging by the empty spot in the force where the woman had been before, she guessed the older woman hadn't missed much. The thought made her giggle as her eyes fluttered open just in time to see Atton turn the corner into the room with a plate full of food. 

"Good morning, babe," he chirped happily as he sat on the side of her bunk.

She smiled at him warmly as she sat up and leaned against him, inhaling his warmth. "How long did I sleep?" she mumbled sleepily.

"About sixteen standard hours," he said with a grin as her eyes widened, "I bet you're hungry."

"I'm sure I will be as soon as I wake up," she nuzzled against his neck, and he set the plate down on the next bunk and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. She looked up at him then and kissed him affectionately. She sighed as she broke the kiss and collapsed against him, her body molding itself to his form. "I need to meditate… how long 'til we get to Telos?"

"About 27 hours," was his reply as he held her tightly. "Eat first, then you can meditate."

She nodded but didn't reach for the food right away. She just stayed curled up in his arms. She sighed contentedly and after a few minutes reluctantly broke their embrace, reaching around him to grab a piece of bread.

"We were worried about you before Malachor," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry…" she started to try to explain, but he stopped her.

"We're just glad you're feeling better now." He kissed her again, more passionately this time and she felt her body respond to his kiss. He broke the kiss and grinned down at her. "Niiice, but shouldn't you be meditating?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and grumbled, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to meditate when you can only think about one thing?"

He smirked, "I thought the point of meditation was to think about one thing…"

"Yes, but not _that_ one thing, bantha breath." She kissed him, fervently, longingly. They hadn't made love since before their stop on Dantooine and Atton had begun to wonder if they ever would again. But now she was making up for the previous long week, and as she wrapped herself around him he briefly noticed that her touch had changed somehow, there was more longing to it now, not the physical kind, but the emotional. She wanted him to comfort her and he was happy to oblige.

Some time later, Vashti finally disentangled herself from him and pulling her clothes back on, sank to the floor to meditate. Atton rolled over in the bed lazily and watched her as she settled into her familiar pose, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders. She felt his gaze upon her and fluttered her eyelids open, smiled at him, then closed them again and began her meditation in earnest.

She listened to the echo, exploring it as it emanated from her. They had said it was a wound. That she had severed her ties to the force so completely that it had caused an absence of the force in her. But if that was in fact true, how was it possible that she could feel the force so strongly. She was a cipher, Vrook had said, drawing power from those around her. She didn't know if it was true, but even if it was, was it in fact a bad thing? Nihlus had used a similar power to kill and destroy, to leach power from life. But Vashti had only killed when necessary, of course, when dealing with the Exchange and the Sith, necessary had come pretty frequently.

She was a Jedi, she was sure of that. Kreia and the council had both said she wasn't. The council had implied she was a Sith, but Kreia had just said that she wasn't truly a Jedi. Wasn't a Jedi someone who used the force to achieve good things? But then Revan had sought out the Star Forge to gain strength to use against the Mandalorians and it had caused her to fall. So it was not motivations that delineated between Jedi and Sith, but rather… outcome? But no, that would be like saying the end justifies the means, and she could not condone that. So where was the line between Jedi and Sith?

Did the force really have its own will? And if so, did that mean that those that fell to the dark side were within its will? Did one have a choice not to fall or were we all just tools to be used as Kreia had implied? If it was the will of the force, how could it be good or bad? How could it be classified as light and dark? She had told Atton she believed in the will of the force, and she did… and she wanted to serve that will. But would she serve it even if it meant falling? Is that what Revan had done?

She knew she must follow Revan. There was a war to be fought against the true Sith… a belief… but a belief in what? What was it they believed that made them such a threat to the galaxy? Could it be that they used the force as the council thought she did? Drawing their power from others and when they had drained all the force from the life around them, they would collapse upon themselves?

Kreia had told her she could not take anyone with her that she cared about. That such attachments would only bring doom where Revan is now. But Kreia had also said that Revan would need warriors, Sith and Jedi, any that were willing to go. And her companions were Jedi, some of the few that were left, but Kreia had not mentioned any of them going to fight when she spoke of their futures.

It was odd to Vashti that Kreia had not been able to tell her anything of Bao-Dur's future. Nor had she been able to hear his surface thoughts when she had been teaching Vashti to listen. As powerful as the old woman was, why couldn't she? Was Bao that powerful in the force that he could shield his thoughts from her, even without being conscious of it? Or… more likely, was she blinded by her own preconceived notions of non-humans being only beasts?

The truth hit Vashti suddenly. Kreia had been blind. She had lectured Vashti many times about being blinded by pride, blinded by physical sight, by strict Jedi dogma. But the old woman had let her own blind spots fester and grow. Hers were mostly borne of pride. She could not sense Bao, because she believed she couldn't. She believed Atton to be a fool, because he used base emotions to hide his mind and she did not value talents such as his. Vashti had not been able to resist asking if he had loved her, but Kreia's answer had merely tried to reinforce her own ideas in Vashti's head. Atton was a fool, and he had nothing to offer one such as her… The woman really was blind if she thought that was the case.

The council had its own blindness. They refused to see the merit in teaching anything but a strict suppression of all emotions. They failed to act when they could have helped; they believed anything they didn't understand to be of the Dark Side. Rather than expand their knowledge and learn more, they hid themselves in what they knew to be true and used it as walls to shut out everything else. Not that seeking knowledge wasn't dangerous, it was. It was the seeking of knowledge that had led to Atris' fall, to her own blindness and her desire to lock herself away from other force sensitives.

Blindness. That's what it was all about, wasn't it? We fail to perceive truth, because we are blinded by our own preconceived notions of truth. The truth was that helping someone often did make them a target, and often they would have been better off to have done it themselves. But, then, was it truth that you should help no one? Vashti didn't think so. The truth was also that a helping hand, a small kindness could often make such a difference, its ramifications unending. So by following either philosophy without thought, you would cause as much harm as you would help. So did that mean that you tried to use wisdom and judgment to sort out who you gave the kindnesses to? How could a person be so prideful to think that they could know?

Vashti wondered where her own blind spots were. She was sure to have them, as all did. She could only hope that by surrounding herself with people who did not think like her and had different experiences that she would minimize any serious myopia on her part. Perhaps that was why the council had become so blind. They had done everything the same way for so long, that all their experiences and thoughts were the same. And they had begun to reject any ideas that seemed contradictory to their own, believing that they solely understood the Force. Vashti now believed however that one could not pretend to grasp the will of the force and the more a person spent trying to understand it, the more they became blinded by their obsession.

The will of the force would be done, regardless. So she would choose the way in daily life that would leave her with the least problems sleeping… if only she could discern which way that would be. Some choices were easy. She would give the beggars credits; she would rescue children and reunite families. She would fight against Czerka's chokehold on the galaxy. But other choices were harder. She would follow Revan, of that she was sure, but should she do as Kreia had instructed and go alone? Or would she risk the lives of those she had grown to love? She didn't relish either option, but she had drug these same men and women all over the galaxy already, fighting forces more powerful than she could have imagined before Peragus, and they had willingly followed her, fighting with her, risking their own lives. A war would be fought against the true Sith, and if it wasn't fought past the Outer Rim, it would be fought within it. No matter how powerful Revan was, they would not be able to fight them alone.

She would follow Revan, but she would not go alone. If she truly was a cipher, drawing power through her bonds then she would be useless by herself, vulnerable, as Atton had said. Kreia had said she could stay at Malachor and point the way to Revan for the Sith and Jedi who would fight. She would not stay in that tainted place, but she would raise an army. Her crew, her friends, they were just the beginning. It was the will of the force that they had come together. But it proved to Vashti that force sensitives were more abundant than the council wished to believe. How many more were scarred by the war of the last 10 years, searching for a purpose and a redemption like each of them had. She and her crew would find them. They would train them at the academy on Telos and when they were strong, they would follow Revan to war.

Her eyes fluttered open and a purposeful grin spread across her lips as her eyes met his. He was still lying on the bed watching her and grinned back at her saying, "Now, that's the kind of look I like to see. I take it you worked some things out?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I know what I need to do now."

"Yeah?" He replied, "Need any company? I mean, besides, if I'm not around to bail you out of trouble who knows what could happen."

She nodded with a grin, "Yeah, you can tag along… if you think you can earn your keep."

His eyes sparked, "Well, my last boss thought I was quite handy to have around."

"Oh, really?" She asked playfully, "and what sorts of things did she have you do?"

He smirked at her as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled him into the bed with him. "Well, it'd be way easier to show you."

* * *

She awoke in the early hours of the morning, a sharp pain shooting through her abdomen. Without opening her eyes, she cradled her swollen stomach with one hand and clenched the arm of man lying next to with the other. _It's time._ Atton's eyes snapped open, her thought still echoing in his head. _Now? _He asked her, his eyes wide with the fear and excitement that can only come from becoming a father. She opened her eyes and nodded taking a deep breath as the contraction eased. He placed his hand on her stomach and received a rambunctious kick. _Stay put, I'll call Mical. _She nodded and closed her eyes again, reaching out to feel the auras of the lives cradled within her. The girl fidgeted restlessly, sensing the change in her mother's body chemistry. The boy endured his sister's kicks patiently, adding his own only when another contraction started. 

In all, it had not been the best of times to start a family, but it had apparently been the "will of the force" as it had happened, in spite of precautions she had taken. They had spent the last two years gathering Force sensitives to Telos. They had over two hundred Jedi in training now, and Vashti had already taken a contingent of about fifty Jedi past the outer rim to find Revan. She didn't like the idea of just dropping them off and running home, but she had hid her pregnancy from Atton and the rest of her friends so that she could go at all. She would send Visas and Mical to lead the next expedition and hoped to send close to a hundred Jedi with them. She hated that she couldn't go to fight with Revan and the rest, but she wasn't willing to leave her new charges behind, and she certainly couldn't take them with her. She would have to be content continuing the search for force sensitives in known space. She had recently been granted permission to continue her search in the Republic Fleet. She was excited by the prospects of adding well trained and experienced soldiers to their ranks.

Atton settled back down on the bed, next to her. "He's on his way, can I get you anything?"

"Can you com Mira and let her know I'm going to need her to teach the weapons class for me today?"

Atton grinned, "Babe, I'd be surprised if she didn't know already, with the energy you're sending out over your bonds. Heck, the whole Academy probably knows."

"Ah good, that means I won't have to bother with birth announcements." She grimaced as another contraction came, slightly stronger than the last.

"Breathe, Vash, remember the techniques Mical taught you to minimize pain."

She shot him an aggravated look, "You _do remember_ that I can share my pain over this bond of ours, don't you?"

His face paled, "You wouldn't… would you?"

"Don't piss me off or you might just find out," she mumbled, the tension easing from her voice as the contraction subsided.

"Ah well, in that case, you keep muddling through, and I do believe Mical is bringing something for the pain. Until then… can I get you some ice chips?"

She shot him another annoyed look, "Force, why did I ever let you watch that that stupid _Birth Coaches_ holovid anyhow? Do you really think ice chips are going to help?" She half snorted and giggled and patted him on the hand. "You didn't watch that other one did you? I forgot what it was called…"

"_Supporting Your Partner In the Womanly Act of Breastfeeding,"_ Atton shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh, crap, you did, didn't you?" Vashti shook her head at him. "I am going to kill Mical for giving those to you. He didn't give you any others, did he?"

"Just one. _The Art of Parenting Force Sensitive Twins: The Unique Joys and Challenges of Raising Powerful Children_"

Vashti blinked. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Hey, that one's pretty good actually, has a whole section on how to figure out which one is levitating the furniture."

Vashti grimaced as another contraction came, relieved as the exterior door slid open and Mical came in quickly followed by Visas. Noticing her expression Mical promptly said, "Breathe, Vash, remember the techniques I taught you to minimize the pain." Atton stepped away from the bed quickly as Vashti grabbed a pillow and chunked it at the younger man. "Did I say something wrong?"

Visas put her hand on Mical's arm, "I think I will meditate and attempt to alleviate some of her pain until it is closer to her time, why don't you join me?" Mical nodded and they settled onto the floor.

Vashti's face quickly relaxed, as the pain began to subside, "Thank the force for pain management techniques… especially ones I don't have to do…," she said with a lighthearted giggle, smiling at Atton, "How about some of those ice chips now, eh?"

A few hours later Mical placed a beautiful dark haired baby boy on Vashti's stomach, and followed quickly with a lighter haired girl, which he handed to Atton.

Vashti exhaustedly smiled down at the little boy on her stomach, as Atton sat next to her on the bed, gazing down at the beautiful little girl he held. "Hello, Tanvi," he said in a small voice to the wriggling mass he held in his arms, "Hello, Kavar," he said to the calmer child on Vashti's stomach. "I'm your daddy." Vashti's eyes filled with tears as she snuggled the small child to her chest and leaned against their father.

* * *

Aaaannnnd... that's a wrap. 

Thanks again to all of you who left reviews. They really make my day and keep me writing. I hope the wrap up didn't dissapoint. I'm actually toying with the idea of writing "episodes" where Vashti and the crew traipse around the galaxy recruiting their army. There's no telling if I actually will though...

**The Lady Revan**: I really appreciate your thoughtful review and believe me, I stewed and pondered how to have Kreia react toVashti's and Atton's romp. In the end, I decided to go with her general behavior in the game.She would voice her opinion. If you agreed with her, she would say it again once if you continued that particular behavior, but after that she would just insult you once and leave you to it. If you disagreed with her, she would just insult you and leave you to it sooner. This was especially apparent when playing a male exile and her comments to him about mating with Handmaiden or Visas. In the end, it probably would have been more interesting to have her a little more involved, but writing for her was incredibly intimidating so I decided to take the easy way out and just ignore her... (I did the same for G0T0 as well, I know, I'm lazy.)


End file.
